Post # 1
…J and I are going to view an apartment tomorrow, but we’ve viewed this one before and we REALLY like it. Yesterday J said that we should get our things together in case we make a decision on which apartment we want (and by ‘things’, he means first & last months rent, last pay stub, etc). Um… No. I’m not getting any of that ready unless I have a ring on my finger. So tonight I reminded him, saying: “Do you remember that email I sent you last week about signing a lease and moving?” He acted like he didn’t remember, but he did. I said: “You know… That one where you replied ‘oh THAT stuff. Gotcha’? Do you remember that email?” He said that he did. In that email I told him that I wasn’t signing anything until we were engaged.
So tomorrow we may get an apartment, and I still don’t have a ring. I refuse to give in. And I HOPE and PRAY that he’s taking me seriously, because if he is I could be engaged VERY soon. He knows what I require in order to sign something, and he’s ready, willing, and able to sign something tomorrow.
Someone send me ‘waiting dust’ or whatever it is that you sprinkle for good luck! LOL!!
Post # 3
Good for you!!! That’s really great that you’re standing up for yourself! Maybe you’ll get it tomorrow 🙂 🙂
Post # 4
@GwenvonD: My advice, dont back down. That was me 6 months ago. The closer move-date approached, the more anxious I became as I KNEW my ring would be on my hand any day. We had the same agreement – no ring, no aparment. Well, moving day came, no ring. We have been living together 6 months now and JUST started the ring process.
Post # 5
@bride_in_training: Ya, we were supposed to do that as well. We got THIS apartment almost two years ago under the assumption that we’d get engaged shortly after. But J lost his job and it was a huge set back. So once he got a new one and we decided to move, I put my foot down. He agree’s with me about being engaged before we move anywhere again, and he’s willing to sign something tomorrow. But my finger is still naked. I’m just gonna have to pull him aside tomorrow at the rental office and speak to him.
Post # 6
@GwenvonD: Are you opposed to getting engaged without a ring?
Post # 8
I am curious if you’re prepared to walk out? Because honestly, you’ve given in before, you’ve had these talks before. Are you going to throw a scene in front of the rental people? It doesn’t sound like he is taking you seriously, and you haven’t really given him reason to since, despite all your talks and emails, you have gone along with him anyway. What if he wants this place? Are you prepared to tell him to rent it without you? Do you have a contingency plan should your engagement expectations not be met? I am not trying to provoke you, but I hope you’ve considered these things just in case he doesn’t have a secret ring waiting to get down on one knee in the rental office. I just think you should be prepared and have a plan of action for all possible outcomes to this situation. Good luck.
Post # 9
@GwenVonD – Stick to your convictions. Don’t sign the paperwork for an apartment if you don’t have a ring. Sorry.
Post # 10
I am full on rooting for you!
Post # 12
Eeeep, down to the wire with you Gwen! I feel nervous FOR you!
Post # 13
Good luck!!!! I really hope it happens for you.
Post # 14
@Sesame Snap: ditto.
Part of me is like, “dang, good for you!!” but part of me is like, “hmm, is it really going to play out this way? That you’ll actually refuse to move in without a ring?” I kinda hate to say it, but I think you’ve put yourself in a much tougher spot since you already do live with him. It would be a totally different story if you hadn’t already made that choice.
I also kind of feel like it’s a difficult concept/ultimatum for him to understand, for the same reason. Telling him, “no I don’t feel comfortable moving in with you without an engagment” is kinda different than, “no I won’t sign for another apartment with you without a ring.” Regardless, keep us updated! We’re all on your side hoping for the best.
Post # 15
@Sesame Snap: No, not opposed to getting engaged without a ring. HOWEVER, I expect to be planning and set a date as soon as possible.
Yes, I’m fully prepared to walk out. I have a plan. If for some reason he does not take me seriously, then I pull him aside and tell him that we can’t take the apartment. He knew and agreed with what I wanted before we sign a new lease. But if nothing happens then I plan on having a little chat with him, and will be staying with my parents for a couple of nights just to gather my thoughts on what I want to do next.
I’m just really tired of being stringed along (I FEEL that way, not sure if I actually AM or not). And due to previous relationships I have some trust issues. I figured it was time to put my foot down.
Post # 16
@GwenvonD: Good for you! Fingers crossed that you get the ring, but I am proud of you for sticking to your guns. A stand and applaud you my lady. Hopefully you will be setting a date while moving, XXXX.