(Closed) I don’t wanna…

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! We’re not doing a first dance either, because my fiance is very shy and is very uncomfortable slow dancing in front of everyone.  We’re also not doing the garter because I’m way too uncomfortable.  I think it’s totally okay to skip traditions that aren’t up your alley– your wedding should be about you and you shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do.

Post # 4
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’m in the same boat. We are not doing any tradition. No first dance, no garter, no bouquet either. We are still trying to figure out how to let the guests know that we don’t want to do the kissy-glass-tinkly thing.

Post # 5
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I totally agree with jasmin! This is your wedding and you shouldn’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. In my opinion, traditions are only useful if they mean something to the couple (or the family in some cases). We are only participating in those traditions we find meaningful and adding some new ones of our own. I’d say just skip the first dance and garter toss and don’t say anything about it. Most likely no one will notice. About the glass-klinking thing, I’d suggest putting a note in the program or on the tables (which ever makes more sense) that says, "Due to facility restrictions, please refrain from clinking glasses." Then maybe say something cute about how you have the rest of your lives to kiss or you don’t want to wear out your lips. But first and foremost I’d blame it on either the facility or the place you rented your glasses from. I’ve actually heard of places that have that restriction so it’s a plausable excuse. Good luck!

As far as things we’re not doing… my dad and I have a strained relationship so he’s not walking me down the isle. Even if he were, I’ve always had problems with being "given away". So we have a note in the program explaning that since women are not a comadity to be bought and traded, the question "who gives this bride" will not be asked. Instead we’re asking for a statement of support from a represtative from each family. My brother who walked with me down the isle will say that on behalf of my friends and family he offers their love and support. My FI’s mom will then say the same thing. I find it to be a good compromise.

Post # 6
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

same here. no garter toss. no bouquet toss. we are doing a first dance, but no bridal party dance. we’re not doing a traditional father/daughter – mother/son dance. we wanted to recognize our parents though so each set of parents will dance together while fi and i are dancing as well – couples dance. then towards the end of song we’ll invite others couples to come up and dance.

Post # 7
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

We’re not going to do a first dance either. Partially because we’re having our reception in a fellowship hall at the church, so 1) it’s not even big enough, and 2) they don’t dance in the church. I’m slightly disappointed that there won’t be any dancing at all (my mother is even on a search for another location to do the reception–the fellowship hall was my FI’s idea)… but my Fiance doesn’t even want to dance nor does his family.

Post # 8
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We will not do the smash cake in each other’s faces thing. We’re in love and that’s just mean. We are not doing a dollar dance. (I know that’s not a very common tradition, but it seems to be in the weddings I’ve been too lately.) I don’t know what the glass-clinking thing is, so I guess we’re not doing that either. I’m sure we’ll be kissing lots all night just because we’re so happy, there’s no reason for my guests to demand it. We’re still deciding whether or not to do the garter toss. Why couldn’t he throw his boutenierre (sp?) instead of my undergarments? I know his friends and I don’t want their imaginations working.

Post # 9
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

You can do or not do anything you want…it’s your wedding, and it should be a reflection of the two of you. I didn’t do the garter thing and we had our own ideas about what a fun bachelor party really is. I didn’t toss my bouquet and it doesn’t even matter the reason…if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.

Post # 11
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We are NOT doing garter toss, bouquet toss, dollar dance, cake smashing, or a reception line.  We are also not having a bridal party – just my sister and his brother to stand up for us.  We are going to have a first dance, and we will politely feed each other cake.  I’m glad somebody else doesn’t know about the glass-clinky thing.  Since I honestly never heard of it until WB, I intend to ignore any clinking that might happen, with no prior announcement of such.

You get to do whatever you want, and you don’t have to do anything that seems silly or uncomfortable or rude or just plain odd to you.  After all, its your wedding!

Post # 12
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

we aren’t having a cake at all, a bridal party, garter or bouquet toss, and aren’t even having others give toasts. we aren’t into those things, so why would we have them! I just told my mom i don’t want a bridal shower either. Do what makes you happy  – its your wedding!

Post # 14
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

Do whatever you like, and leave out the rest. We didn’t do the garter at my wedding either, but we did do the bouquet toss. Just tell your DJ or emcee not to announce a garter toss. Ditto with the first dance, just have the music start up and encourage everyone to get out on the dance floor!

As for the glass-clinking, I’d caution you not to put a note that says not to clink glasses b/c of the rental restrictions… people will just assume they can clink something else instead! Plates, silverware, etc. If it’s the "not kissing in the spotlight" thing that’s getting you, just spread the word via a few friends, and ignore any glass clinking. People will look at you for a while, then get bored and stop.

Post # 15
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I really hate the glass-clinky thing (I really love the name we’ve coined this) or, even worse, when they have little bells at the table. Sometimes, I feel bad for the bride and groom when you’re at a wedding and every 3 stinkin’ seconds someone stards ringing those dumb bells. The bride and groom hardly get a chance to eat anyway, you’d think the 30 seconds they have they could spend it eating and conversing with the bridal party.
I’m not doing the garter toss, and I’m not doing a bouquet toss. I feel like we’ll hardly have any single gals there and the ones that are don’t really want to be pointed out for it.

Post # 16
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

if you are having a DJ, you could turn the tables on guests if they start doing the "kissy glass" thing so if/when they do it, the DJ announces that the B&G get to point to a couple that have to kiss infront of everyone instead.

that ususally stops people from doing it pretty fast.

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