(Closed) I don't want a bridal shower…

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@anonybee0810:  How did you find out that she is planning a shower? I mean, if you are really uncomfortable with the situation then you should probably just confront her about it. On the other hand, if you think you can just suck it up, I probably would. I just feel like a wedding is also a very important event for the parents of the couple. Maybe she just wants to show you off to her friends …after all, you are marrying her son. I know that some people won’t agree with me, but I just think sometimes it’s nice to also let the parents have their time in the spotlight. 

Post # 4
45627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@anonybee0810:  For the sake of future relations with your FMIL, I would plaster on a smile and graciously be the guest of honor.

This is obviously important to her either personally or culturally, or both, for her to go against your wishes. She may have thought you were just being polite. Perhaps she knew you were shy but still really wanted to celebrate your marriage to her son.

I’m sure you can find a use for a few new things.

Post # 5
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s nice that your FMIL is planning a shower for you. Just go, will it be that bad? At least she’s taking an interest and trying to so something nice for you. Just think of the bright side at least she’s not like Jane Fonda in “Monster in Law”.

Post # 8
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Will it help your anxiety of your fiance is there? It’s very normal for the groom to be there nowadays even if it’s a female-only shower. 

Post # 9
3724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are all of her friends invited to the wedding?

Post # 12
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If it’s just a matter of being uncomfortable for an afternoon, I would suck it up. I don’t think the (probable) consequences of snubbing her are worth it.


Post # 15
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@anonybee0810:  I would bring the FI. 

Or…. I’m going to get crucified for this, but since she is totally ignoring your declaration that you don’t want one and it’s a “surprise” you could always just be “busy” or “sick” that day. Maybe your best friend planned a girls day out near her and now you’re out of town. Oops. Guess she’ll have to just have the party with her friends. 

Post # 16
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m kind of in the same boat. From the beginning I was emphatic that I didn’t want a shower, but for the sake everyone’s excitement I consented to ONE shower.. Well, come to find out there multiple people who want to plan seperate showers for seperate groups of friends / family.. I feel that instead of throwing a princess hissy fit I should just graciously accept the gesture and feel good that these people love me and are excited to welcome me into the family.  The way I see it, it’s better to have people excited about the wedding.

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