I don’t want a bridal shower….opinions/advice please!

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
46470 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t want a shower you don’t have to have one.

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, we are in similar boats. Here’s my thread about it!

But no, you DO NOT have to have a shower. I personally hate attending them so why would I want to have one?!

Post # 5
Member
4161 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Of course it’s okay not to have one!  Just be very firm and clear to your family/friends that you don’t think it’s necessary and you would prefer to not have the extra stress.  Also make sure they know this in case they try to throw you a surprise party Surprised

Post # 6
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

well, it’s okay if you don’t want one. On the other hand, if someone does insist on throwing you one, you can’t just say no cause that would be rude. I’m not a very girly girl so I made it clear that I did not want a traditional shower…ours are both going to be co-ed, and the games & themes are reflecting the fact that the men are invited too! If you’re afraid of the drama that can happen between women, maybe inviting the men will solve the problem.

 Also, remember that your mother/sister should NOT be throwing you a shower..that’s against the “rules.” So, only a close friend (like one of your bridesmaids) should be offering to throw you a shower.

Hope that helps!

 

Post # 7
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Of course it’s ok not to have, but please do remember there are people out there who ENJOY doing this for others.  I’m sorry to hear your experience with showers has been stressful and had drama.  However, not ALL showers are like that.  I enjoyed helping throw my sister and two of my best friends a shower each, and there was really no drama.  I will admit it was hard with one of my friends b/c there was no Maid/Matron of Honor to kind of take charge, but we all managed to get through it.  Your mom may be taken back because it’s her daughter getting married, and she WANTS to do this for you. 🙂  That’s a very nice thing if you ask me.

But, yes, in the end I think it’s your choice…and if you don’t want one them others should respect your wishes.

Post # 9
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mdoodles:  I’m a little late to the ballgame, but I’m in your same boat!!  I do NOT want a shower, I don’t want to open presents in front of people.  I don’t want presents.  FI and I are in our 30s and each owned homes before we got together, so we just purged a bunch of stuff when I moved in and I think it’s kind of rude to ask for a bunch of stuff we don’t need.

 

 His mom scheduled one without asking, which royally ticked me off.  Then that gave my mom the idea that she should throw one.  Yes, people are looking at me like I have 3 heads, but I figure this is the one time that it’s all about ME, and if I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to.  The rest of our wedding is verry laid back, so this is my one and only bridezilla issue.

 

Hold your ground, and just let people know that it’s not necessary, and that you really don’t want them to go out of their way.

Post # 10
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a problem with this.  I really didn’t want a bridal shower or a bach party, and my Maid/Matron of Honor ignored me and planned one anyway.  I got pretty mad at her.  She was trying to tell me that she knew what I wanted more than I did.  I have a lot of mixed feelings about that because she wound up throwing a compromise co-ed dinner party but I really wish the entire thing hadn’t happened at all.  Very uncomfortable.

Post # 10
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Im on the same page. My husband and I eloped 8 years ago. We are finally having our church wedding this July. My bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor keep insisting on planning a bridal shower. When I asked them not too, I felt like I offended them. I feel like its a waste of money. We are blessed with a home and family. I feel like having a bridal shower is not necessary. My main purpose is getting gods blessing. I feel like they want it so bad. Keep in mind they are the same bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor who havent helped in the planning of the wedding. <img src=

Post # 11
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ORella2012:  why is it rude to decline a shower? I think the brides comfort is top priority. If someone said they didn’t want a birthday party you would just throw them one anyway? That never turns out well. 

OP I declined multiple offers for a shower. We owned a home and I can’t imagine having more gifts then what we received from the wedding alone. its just excessive in this day and age to have a shower If you are older and already established. If you don’t want one, be firm about it and enjoy the lack of stress.

i really can’t stand showers. They just seem like ancient practice now. 

Post # 12
Member
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

OMG…I’m glad I’m not only one that doesn’t want a bridal shower & I don’t enjoy going to them (but I do). My Future Mother-In-Law mentioned throwing one, I’m accepting bc she lives 3 hrs away and it’ll be a way for me to get to know that side of the fam better. Although, it could change bc our engagement party is today and ger daughter in law is due w/ first baby in Feb so I know she’ll be throwing her a shower.

Again, I agree, we our in our 30s, established and the thought of opening gifts in front of everyone is agonizing, not to mentice where to put em. We’ll see but I told my bridesmaids no shower bc Mother-In-Law is throwing one and one is enough.

To me, it’s just stressful

Post # 13
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I said the same thing.  I had a small wedding and told my mom and best friend no to a shower and a bachelorette party. I wasnt having bridesmaids or anything so I felt like it was a tradition I didnt want to mess with. Too much money, time, stress! No thanks!!

Post # 14
Member
3630 posts
Sugar bee

Ugh, just realized this thread is four years old.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  FantasticFawn.
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  FantasticFawn.
Post # 15
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I hate showers. The whole drinkign through penis straws and forcing each girl to make a move on the portable stripper pole is just dumb.  I told my sister I dont want a bachelorette and she’s 8 years younger than me. So she still thinks they’re fun and they suppose to be cringeworthy.

Um NO, NO THEY NOT. So I told her I dont want one, and I think I’ve insulted her. That’s not my intention. I’ve never been one to throw myself a bday party etc, a bridal shower is the same thing. Unwanted attention on me and having to open gifts you dont want or some xrated toy or whatever is ridiculous.

I’m old enough to buy those things myself. Not gonna sit in front of people and embarass myself at my expense to give them a sense of job well done.

At most I think a nice dinner somewhere with my close friends to cheers on the upcoming nuptuals is more than enough. That’s as far as I’d go.

So relieved to see there are more ladies that feel the same as me. I was feeling like a freak for a second!

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