Post # 1
ARGH – I just wrote a whole post & then it disappeared cuz my title was too long! So why did you let me type that many characters in the title line in the 1st place!!!!!
Anyway, my SO emailed me earlier to ask if I wanted a new kindle fire which is coming out in a week or so. Then he also mentioned that there is a mini-iPad coming out in Oct or Nov too. At first I thought, hmmmm, one of those might make a nice anniversary (end of Oct) or Christmas present. Then I remembered that SO hasn’t bought a ring yet b/c he can’t afford it. But he wants to buy me a kindle fire or mini-iPad for $200 or up?
So I responded with “I don’t want you to buy me anything expensive unless it is YOU-KNOW-WHAT (yes I used all capitals lol), and he replied “ok dear.” But the offer of a kindle or iPad got me wondering if maybe buying me a ring isn’t even in the forefront of his mind at all, which would really aggravate me. My friend said maybe he’s just messing w/ me & trying to throw me off track, but I don’t think he even thinks that far ahead. He’s more of the type to just keep his mouth shut about something instead of make up elaborate stories to try to confuse me.
I know some bees out there can relate to this sort of nonsense from their man! Any advice or words of wisdom? I know I just need to keep my mouth shut about it ’till it finally happens, cuz we’ve already had too many fights over it (getting engaged) over the past few months. But it’s so hard to bite my tongue, especially when he does something like offer to spend money on me that’s NOT for the ring!!!!
Post # 3
Yeah, but gadgets are gadgets, and for guys, gadgets are like crack! You tell him that an e-ring for you is like an i-pad for him…
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Honestly– it probably wasn’t at the forefront of his mind at that moment, for most guys it isn’t (yes, even the ones who are about to propose!) I’d bet he probably saw an advertisement for one or the other and sent you the email without putting a whole lot of thought into it; just because he thought you might like them.
Also– unless you’ve talked about it already, there’s a big difference between a $200 toy and an e-ring that could cost several thousand. Personally, I don’t think e-rings need to cost that much, but unless you’ve told your SO your feelings on the matter, he might be counting-out an e-ring any time soon because he views it as 2-3 months salary, and that is more than he can mentally handle right now.
Post # 5
@nona99 – so true, my SO is so crazy about his iPhone and iPad, it drives me nuts. And yes, an e-ring for me would be like an iPad for him – I would stare at it and play with it (modeling it, showing it off) all day & night!!!!
@juliette – we have talked about the ring a million times, and I have told him more than once that I don’t need something expensive. I told him I would be fine if he just spent a few hundred on it, but he told me he wants to spend between $1,500-2k for whatever reason. And he knows I want the ring by the end of this year (we’ve been together 6 years in Oct), so he should be saving every penny, not wasting money on gadgets! (Kidding!… well, sorta 😉
Post # 6
My SO blew his savings on an iPad and because of that, my e-ring has taken longer to be bought.
When he first bought it I tried to be cool, but 2 months later I flipped.
He’d never even thought about how it would affect buying a ring.
Post # 7
You said basically the same thing I would have said. If it doesn’t fit in a little velvet box, just go ahead and leave it at the store!
Post # 8
After reading the title, I had to post. I was in the same situation this past Valentine’s day. My SO and I have been together 9 years (since last Wednesday), but around the beginning of the year (in January) we went ring shopping. I wasn’t sure, but thought maybe he would propose on Valentine’s Day.
Well the day came and he told me to come home a little late that day from work because he had a big surprise waiting for me. So when I got home, he gave me a piece of paper, which was a clue. He then sent me on a half an hour scavenger hunt around the house, in the neighborhood and it ended in our back yard. I was getting really angsty and hopeful. When I got to the last clue there was a huge box (but I was still hopeful).
Turns out he bought me a big, bright….RED KITCHEN AID MIXER(ugh…)! Do not get me wrong, I really love it and had wanted one for a while, but honestly, a ring was what I preferred.
Now, my hope is maybe the ring is coming on our anniversary trip next week….one can hope, right
Post # 9
Haha! That made me laugh because I totally understand your frustration. My SO buys expensive things for himself so at least he is trying to buy expensive stuff for you! Don’t argue about getting engaged though. Let him do it on his own time. Easier said than done, I know. But you want him to want to do it, not because he feels obligated.
Post # 10
Argh! If SO wanted to buy me something it sure as heck better be a ring!
Post # 11
I feel your pain girl! Apparently I told my SO that instead of getting me a birthday gift he could just take me shopping, but I’m super tempted to tell him to just save his pennies. I don’t really want anything from him unless it’s shiny, circular, and goes on the fourth finger of my left hand. Just sayin……
Post # 13
@lookingglass – I don’t blame you, I woulda flipped too
@Effie – yes, my thoughts exactly!
@bmo88 – lol, that’s too funny. All that work for a kitchen mixer!
@anthrogirl – I TRY to keep my mouth shut cuz I hate arguing, but sometimes it’s easier said than done =P
@misspuddingpop – yep, I’ve tried to nicely tell him at this point basically it’s a ring or nothing!
@sleepingbeauty – I hear ya! I told my SO that I don’t want anything for our anniversary this year unless it’s sparkly and I can wear it on my left hand!
Post # 14
@stargazer102706: maybe he bought it already and he’s a good secret keeper?
Post # 15
6 years? Unless you met when you were 20 I really hope he gets his act in gear soon! Good luck
Post # 16
@missflowerpot – it’s possible, but I know how broke he’s been over the past year and how hesitant he is to open another credit card. But who knows!
@sunchick – hah I wish I was still 20!!! I’m 34 🙂