I don’t want any more kids, how do I react to people who ask about more?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

Q. When are you having more kids?

A. Oh, we’re not, we’re happy with one.

Q. But how will your child learn to socialise with other kids?

A. We’ll figure it out.  We’re happy with one.

Q. But don’t you think your child deserves a brother or sister?

A. No, they’ll be okay.  We’re happy with one.

Q. Don’t you think you’re being selfish, only having one?

A. No, I don’t think so.  We’re happy with one.

Q. But [some random non-peer reviewed study found by a quick google search] says that only children are more likely to get cancer and be allergic to pineapples.

A. Huh, interesting.  We’re happy with one.

Post # 3
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Just say: “its none of your business”. Otherwise they wont understand. I find these questions very rude and personal and never answer, as its Not their business:) 

Post # 4
Member
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

LongIslandRN :  People are just making conversation. If you don’t want to talk about your decision, just say “we’ll see what happens.” You know exactly what will happen — no more pregnancies, but a vague answer like that is sufficient without making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Post # 5
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee

“We’re happy with just one”.

Post # 7
Member
7180 posts
Busy Beekeeper

‘Hahaha fuck no I’d like to sleep again!’ 

Im cfbc but I don’t understand why this would be an awkward conversation. You don’t want more, say so. Who cares what *they* think.

Post # 8
Member
3003 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Mine are: “My husband and I are both only children and we really enjoyed our childhoods.” 

“Are you seriously saying that [DH’s name] and I are [insert ridiculous stereotype about only children that here]?!”

”Excuse you, RUDE.”

Post # 9
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It is rude, and totally weird that anyone would consider something as serious as fertility, family planning and your sex life to be an appropriate subject for small talk.

I suppose the best response would depend on who you’re speaking too, and just how sassy you feel about it. If you want to shut that shit down abruptly, a simple “That feels pretty personal, and I’m not comfortable discussing it” or OP’s “We’re happy with one” oughta do. If you’re feeling fierce, you could try a sarcastic “I had no idea you cared this much! Let me get your email, and I’ll make sure my gynecologist knows to keep you in the loop.” You could also try “When are you going to get your own life in order?” Or “You mean one isn’t enough? How many do you think we should have? We’ll get on that right away” Or “We’re not planning anything atm… But enough about me! How’s your sex life been? Are you and SO still going at it on the regular?” 

Post # 10
Member
5138 posts
Bee Keeper

Many I know say ” Nope Im done!” Lol. 

Post # 11
Member
10093 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

“You can’t top perfection.”

Post # 12
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t commit. Mainly because it’s not their business, but also, if you later change your mind or have a “happy accident”, there’s potential awkwardness. Just say something along the lines of “we’ll see”.

Post # 13
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

I have an only one. She’s 16 so I’ve been hearing that for years. Answer was always something along the lines of nope I’m done! Or as I’ve gotten older, helllllll no! I used to have people tell me I’d change my mind but I just ignored it, no problem. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone try to verbally fight me after I said no. 

Post # 14
Member
12632 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Don’t ever feel pressured to dignify that kind of rudeness with a reply. I’d probably ask why they ask or say you consider that personal. 

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