I don’t want any more kids, how do I react to people who ask about more?

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee

My go to answer to intrusive questions are either a puzzled stare and say “Now why would you ask me that?” or “If you forgive me for not answering, I’ll forgive you for asking”

Usually stops them dead in  tracks.

Post # 17
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee

I️ would usually redirect it and ask a question about them.”we will see but when are you having more?”. Or I️ would get on a soap box how you never know what’s going on in someone’s life and what pain there could be behind the smiles- one can be suffering through infertility or a miscarriage, other losses, etc and questions like that can really be triggering and heartbreaking to some ppl. 

Post # 18
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Ppl ask me to and I’m LIKE NOPE  I had my tubes tide !!! 

 

That’s shuts them up pretty quick

Post # 19
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

is_a_belle :  our baby is still cooking but we are pretty sure we are one and done. Already people sometimes freak when they find out but 1. Darling Husband was an only child and is clearly fine. 2. I had a sibling and did not enjoy the experience at all, sorry. Love my brother, didn’t like having a brother. Not afraid to say it. (Except to my parents.. )

People shut up pretty fast when you openly admit you didn’t like having a sibling. Apparently it’s rude and shocking of me to say. Whatever dude, you implied my plan would deprive my child or worsen his life, so I’d say we are roughly even.

Post # 20
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

arosebyanyothername :  oh I like those.  I’ve actually been trying to think of good things to say when Mother-In-Law asks about my weight gain (pregnant) and those are great.

Post # 21
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I only give asinine answers to asinine questions: 

Why, do you have an extra you’re trying to get rid of?

Tangent on how you never know if someone is suffering fertility issues. 

Well, I only want one, and I thought it would be wrong to have an unwanted child intentionally. 

You can have more than one?!

Just as soon as my fertility returns when I stop breastfeeding. -child’s age doesn’t matter. 

When we get tired of this one. 

 

 

Really they shouldn’t be asking. They don’t know that you don’t want another right now. This is definitely on the top ten things that make you an asshole if you ask. 

Post # 22
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I get asked a lot when or if we are going to have more. I just tell them we have no plans for that right now.

Post # 23
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee

Mine is 11, so thankfully people have mostly stopped asking that, thank every god. But my standard response is I like sleep so there won’t be any more. If they ask about socializing, that’s why she has cousins, goes to daycare and school. If someone really pushes it I’ve been known to ask them when my uterus and finances became their business because they really need to pull their head out of both. 

When a family member used to ask me after I’d already made it clear for 3 years that there would be no more I used to ask them when I could expect their $250k to cover the costs from birth to 18 for a kid and of course to let me know what their plans we’re to save for a college fund.

Post # 24
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, most people are just making conversation and probably often don’t even care whether you’re having another or not (unless it’s family/close friends). A simple “we’re not!” will usually suffice.

 

If they do start pressuring you though, you don’t owe them any kind of explanation. Just tell them that you’re happy with one, rinse and repeat. 

Post # 25
Member
19 posts
Newbee

LongIslandRN :  I am just about in the exact same scenario as you. I’m about totally fed up with the constant question too. I keep saying no, I’m not having any more and that I’m too old for more children. I also have said my hubby donated one sperm, just walked away and I have had to do the rest so nope DONE!

Post # 26
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

Hiss at them. 

Post # 27
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Now that I am pregnant with my second I BETTER not get that question anymore. I get if you only have one everybody wants to be nosey. But after 2 please stfu. Who am I kidding… I know they’re gonna be like “so is this it for you”? Especially if I have another boy. Smh

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