(Closed) I don't want bridal party, FMIL wants siblings, am I wrong? advice?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
46645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

cherriesandcream:  Your wedding, your choice. Future Mother-In-Law had a chance to plan a wedding- hers.

“Thank you for the suggestion, but we have already made our decision.”

Post # 3
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I wouldn’t.  You gave in by having a big wedding, you should be able to have no bridal party like you want.  This is your decision and you shouldn’t let anyone pressure you into making you have anyone you don’t want at your alter. 

Post # 4
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well at the end of the day you need a witness anyway so you will need to appoint someone.  Ask your husband what he wants, don’t worry about the mother.  Maybe he wants them there.  

You know you don’t need a traditional Bridal Party. You can have your guy frind with you, and let them wear whatever they want so they don’t need to go buy a new outfit.  

BPs don’t have to stand next to you, mind didn’t.  

You can also let his siblings do readings if that would appease your Future Mother-In-Law.

 I think it is nice to involve family and future family.  You say you aren’t close with your Future Sister-In-Law, but maybe you could use the opportunity to get close.  She’d gonna be in your life now forever.

 I’m not saying you need to have a Bridal Party, of course do what you want, but think about all your options (which IMO are far greater than 4 girls wearing matching $200 dresses) and talk about it with the only other person it involves which is your Fiance.

Post # 5
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

cherriesandcream:   Your bridal party, in number and in choice of people, is entirely your decision.

Personally I think you are wise to allow your friends (save your MOH)  to attend as guests and to choose their own attire.  I’m doing the same as you – I have one “Best Woman” and no bridesmaids.   I am endlessly thankful I made that choice.  For me, it reduced the stress hugely.

Make your choice, hold your ground.  *hugs*  

Post # 6
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

cherriesandcream:  Don’t let anyone guilt you into it.  It’s your wedding and if you don’t want it, you don’t want it.  She doesn’t get a say.

If i was asked to be in a wedding, and found out in the end the bride didn’t actually want us there, I’d be hurt.

She doesn’t get to dictate who you have stand up with you in support of your wedding, end of story.

Post # 7
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s your wedding.  but depending on the type of ceremony, you may need some help or chuck the flowers at someone in the first row to catch while you put on his ring. So what if it’s his side, they are going to be your family now too, and it could be a good way to spend some time with your sister in law.  You could have a cousin or something stand up for you too. Besides if you give her a little bit, it makes you look good and you could alwys point out, should anything else come up, that you already comprimised. 

Post # 9
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

cherriesandcream:  Great. Don’t worry about horrified families, they’ll deal, if you want your guy friend .  this is more common than people think.

Post # 11
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

cherriesandcream:  Who cares what your Future Mother-In-Law thinks? You don’t want a bridal party and your fiance is happy with that. Your fiance needs to explain to his mother that you and he have made your decision.

p.s. When my Brother-In-Law got married with no wedding party, two of the parents signed the register as the witnesses.

Post # 12
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We didn’t have a bridal party. My bff ended up getting out of her seat to hold my bouquet because I didn’t know where to put it. So just think through your bouquet and the rings. I know my husband was bummed his bro didn’t hold our rings for us. My bff and his bro were our witnesses though. Now that’s a job his sis could do and your guy bff.

Stick to your guns!

Post # 13
2092 posts
Buzzing bee

I wont be having a bridal party as we’re having a very small wedding and it seemed stupid to take 4-6 people out of our guest list of like, 30 people just to be in the wedding party.

If I were having a large wedding though I would probably have a wedding party. Nothing saying you have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor.

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