I don't want bridesmaids, just my matron of honor.

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

I think you go with your initial gut feeling, Bee.  Just go with your Maid/Matron of Honor and include the other girls in wedding events such as your shower and bachelorette.  

If you want to attempt a different dynamic, my friend did something interesting at her wedding.  She and her husband had only their best man and Maid/Matron of Honor stand with them, but they had their “bride and groom crew” (all of their other closest friends) wear yellow dresses/yellow ties to match the wedding colors.  They still did pictures together, but it was without all the formality of bridesmaids and groomsmen.  

Post # 17
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

My fiancé and I have decided to stand as just the two of us, with no moh/ bm/ bridesmaids/ groomsmen , anyone. Just him and I and our two dogs. It’s exactly what feels perfect for us <3 

so my advice is, do what feels right for you, and everyone else can go stuff themselves! Lol! But seriously, it’s your day not their’s. it’s unfortunate that people have been getting upset over your decision, and I’m so sorry they have, but they’ll get over it.. and if not? Well I guess they weren’t actually that close to you after all. 

Hugs bee! I hope this gets easier for you and you can get back to enjoying this very exciting time of planning your wedding! 

Post # 18
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Its entirely up to you who you include and how.

I didn’t have any adult bridesmaid or a MoH because I didn’t want loads and I didn’t want to choose between too many and risk upsetting anyone!  I just had my niece and the Best Man’s little girl.  My sister was one of our witnesses (Bro in Law was the other) and my best friend did one of our readings.

To be blunt, I think anyone immature enough to make a fuss about it isn’t someone you’d want to involve anyway!

Post # 19
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

That’s what I did – I had my sister as my Matron of Honor, and her husband ended up being Best Man simply because the 4 of us are actually really close and it worked out well!  We also had a smallist wedding and I really think more poeple croweded up there would have been too much anyway!  Basically half of the women in attendance could have qualfied as a bridesmaid and it was easier not to have to pick 🙂

Karen and Patrick-570_1

Post # 20
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

I had a bad experience with bridesmaids at my first wedding, so I opted not to have any for this wedding. I don’t regret it at all. I had two friends who were upset that they had no role in the wedding (and caused a bit of drama at the wedding), but all my other close friends completely understood and were fine with it. I did ask my best friend to be a witness on my marriage license (DH asked his best friend to witness as well).

i don’t feel like I missed out on anything by not having a bridal party, and DH and I felt like it was much more our day/event by not having a wedding party. We had our children stand beside us during the ceremony and it was perfect. No regrets. 

Post # 21
Member
13653 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There’s nothing wrong with this. In fact a couple of generations ago it was quite common. Today, it is sometimes just the most logical or practical choice. Hypothetically there can be no one offended if you don’t have bridesmaids at all, or limit it to just family. If people are offended that’s really just a poor reflection on them. 

And since it is no one’s obligation to host or throw a shower or pre-wedding event of any kind, having a larger wedding party has nothing to do with any inappropriate expectations there may be along those lines. 

Of course, there’s no rule that says you can’t have a tea for your close friends, or invite anyone you choose to go dress shopping. Likewise, there’s nothing stopping any friend or group of friends from hosting a shower. 

Post # 22
Member
3883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I didn’t have any bridesmaids. I didn’t really see why they were necessary and I certainly don’t regret not having them. What are you really missing by not having people walk down an aisle, stand for a bit, and then walk back? People don’t need a title to get ready with you or give a speech if they want to. If you don’t want them, don’t have them. 

Post # 23
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

We’re not having a wedding party at all. 

Post # 24
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I think it will be lovely with just a maid of honour. A really close bonding experience. When my wedding photographer got married she only had a Maid/Matron of Honor, and I was the only bridesmaid for a friend of mine. 

Post # 25
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

View original reply
spookybride :  I had a full bridal party and I’m not sure what full experience I was supposed to get out of it. 

It was a pain keeping the bridesmaids organized. I only asked them to buy a dress and shoes btw. They didn’t help with the wedding, nor was I expecting them to. If I had to do it all over again and if my husband would agree on having no groomsmen, then I wouldn’t have bridesmaids. I love my bridal party dearly but I would rather forgo the additional stress they brought on as my bridesmaids.

Post # 26
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

We didn’t have a bridal party and didn’t miss having one.

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