(Closed) I don't want grandparents wearing corsages/boutonnieres

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Your mom wants it and is paying?  You need to get over it and just do it.

Post # 4
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I saw your other thread about this and didn’t comment but now that you are re-posting it, I’ll bite.  I think you are creating unnecessary drama.  In the grand scheme of things, who cares if they have a corsage.  It’s a minimal cost and I don’t see why it is a  big deal.  I honestly think you are being a baby.  Get over it.

I wish even one of my grandparents could have been alive for my wedding.  I only knew one of my grandmas and she was a pain and drove me crazy, but if she were still here I’d gladly let her wear a corsage at my wedding because it’s the right thing to do and doesn’t hurt anyone.

Post # 6
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Goodness me. The grandmas do all sound a nightmare! How stressful. I could understand if you were debating whether or not to even include them in the wedding, but corsages and boutonnieres are just little flowers. They’re no big deal. I get that you probably don’t want to honour them this way, but you don’t even have to fit the bill for it. I think if you refuse to do them, you’re going to create even more drama and issues. I’d just let it happen.

Post # 7
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
acw2016:  I would think all…Depends on your mom’s opinion really, especially if she is paying.  This seems to mean much more to your mom and your Future Mother-In-Law then it does to you.  In all honesty, on the day of your wedding, you will be way too busy to even notice they are wearing them!  

Post # 8
Member
4502 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

So, your Future Mother-In-Law is paying for the flowers? If so, I don’t think there’s much more you can do. 

You could try asking your Future Mother-In-Law to at least not get a corsage for your stepfather’s mom, since she clearly does not consider herself your grandma. That at least seems like a reasonable compromise.

Whether they wear flowers or not, though, they’re all still going to be at your wedding, so (while I understand where you’re coming from), I don’t see this as a huge issue. 

If you’re paying for the flowers, then obviously just don’t buy anything for the grandparents–problem solved. 

 

Post # 9
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

I’m not doing flowers for grandparents. My grandma is allergic to a whole bunch of flowers so we don’t want to risk it. We don’t want some to have flowers and her to not. Plus as long as the parents have them I think it is fine!

Post # 10
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

They are just flowers.  Get over it (said with a huge ton of love!!!!).  Who gives a damn if they wear them or who is “really” your gparents or not?  Just allow them to wear them and keep it rolling.  This a -5 on a scale of 1-10.   Girl, your day is going to be too beautiful to be worried about something so insignificant.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  leekissesme.
Post # 13
Member
47341 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
acw2016:  This is a classic example of why WeddingBee discourages duplicate threads on the same or different Boards. Bees’ advice is not going to change just because a thread is posted on a different Board.

My previous response stands:

I can see that it would be difficult to be kind and generous towards this bunch! The trouble is that some of them sound like they would be the type to make a scene if they didn’t get the expected boutonniere or corsage.

Future Mother-In-Law expects that the grandparents on her side will get flowers, and you really can’t do one side and not the other.

I would suck it up and do them all, but I would keep them very simple and definitely different than the groomsmen and Dads’.

 

Post # 14
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

As much as it sucks I think you should just let them wear the flowers. It’s one less thing for your not-so-nice grandparents to possibly hold against you. Do what you can to make sure your day is peaceful and happy and don’t let anyone mess that up for you. You won’t be out any money and it’s such a small detail that you won’t even think about their flowers or lack of on your wedding day 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s a flower, it’s not an award for being a great person, or your favorite person ever. I mean, your stories are insane, and I can understand how parts of wedding planning can feel brutally unfair when you have to cater to people you don’t even like. But it’ll be easier on YOU this way.

The topic ‘I don't want grandparents wearing corsages/boutonnieres’ is closed to new replies.

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