I don’t want my SIL to be a bridesmaid

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Hire some actors, they’re paid to look and dress exactly how you want!!! To think I felt guilty asking my moh if she wouldn’t mind wearing flats (she was super happy anyway – she’s never liked heels)…

Let’s just say “bridezilla” isn’t the term I would use. I feel so sorry for your sil, she probably thinks you’re genuinely her friend.

Post # 47
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, considering your boring uniform self was in her egdy different wedding and you probably didn’t quite “go” there, I’d say you were being ridiculous. 

Instagram picture perfect fairy tale, for the most part incredibly staged and unrealistic world ruining real life for people once again.

Post # 48
Member
13677 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s pretty terrible to not select someone you like and care about as a bridesmaid because of her appearance.

But don’t pick her.  You’ll be doing her a favor so she doesn’t have to deal with you!

Post # 49
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

DeniseSecunda :   What? No.  I’ve read all of the standard Kant.  I’m claiming that bridal parties aren’t always a reflection of who is closest to a bride or most meaningful in a person’s life.  Plenty of guests are more important to a bride than bridesmaids and may not be chosen for any number of reasons.  (For example, gender is a consideration for most bridal parties.  Not picking people with different genitals isn’t the same as deciding they’re a means to an end.) Chill. 

Post # 50
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

catattack1990 :  This post makes me sad.

The overall wedding event is not about the pictures or the “look” of the day.  It’s about the bonding of two lives, and two families, with the support of your family and closest friends.

I had a very very traditional wedding, soft blush colors, ceremony in a church, the whole nine yards.  Yet, we included my BIL as a groomsman who has cerebral palsy, who can’t speak, and needed help walking down the aisle, AND my couson who had lavender hair.

Our photos aren’t all perfect, but they’re special, and real, and these people are our family.  I wouldn’t want to be the couple who was too concerned with appearances that we excluded family and best friends.

Post # 51
Member
8450 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

catattack1990 :  

Your last post in which you say the reason is ‘yeah but I only want my two friends really’ does not , I fear , have the ring of truth about it  OP.  Not when you say   ” I love her to death. We spend a lot of time together personally(gettin lunch, drinks, mani/pedis). She’s an awesome person” . about your Future Sister-In-Law. Had you added “but I really  only want my two   friends”   , then that would have been different …

Post # 52
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

catattack1990 :  catattack1990 :  How did we end up in a place where the purpose of a wedding was to satisfy our inner Pinterest queen? 

Yes, you are being shallow. Yes, you are being a bridezilla. 

Did you not post about being dropped by your best friend? So, you’d rather have someone who isn’t giving you the time of day up there with you because she aligns with your esthetic but your lovely SIL is a no because you don’t like her hair? Good to have your priorities in check.

 

Post # 53
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

I don’t agree with your reasoning, but instead of bashing I’m just going to say – go with your two friends and no siblings for anyone then to make it fair.

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