(Closed) I don't want my sister in my bridal party

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

can she do a reading?  Hand out programs?

**Stick to your guns on this.  Don’t let your parents guilt you into anything**

Post # 4
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think hanging out programs would be the best thing or just simply stand your ground and say no thank you. 

Post # 6
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i was just thinking the same, maybe she can do a reading?

I also have a not so great (if you can even call it) relationship with my oldest sister, i made the mistake of making her a bm, she caused problems and after picking fights with the other bm’s stepped down of her own accord. she still caused a scene at my wedding but im really glad she was not a bm because it would have been alot worse.

Maybe you should sit and talk with your parents and explain why you do not want to make her a bm, they should be understanding of your desire to avoid drama/negativity on that day.

Post # 7
4371 posts
Honey bee

Female usher?

Post # 8
42 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Think about how you would feel if she was the one getting married… I have two sisters, one I really get a long with, the other not so much, BUT I know deep down that I would want her to be a part of my day no matter what.  I think including her with something small like a reading would be a nice touch.  

She is family after all and as much as I say I may not care about my relationship with my sister, I know I really do.  You never know… maybe this could be the thing that turns it around???

Just my thoughts… good luck though!

Post # 9
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hmm, my big question is why does your sister make everything about her?  I don’t know your stories, but I haven’t met a single person that didn’t have hurt at the heart of a matter when it came to personality issues.  Maybe you should actually talk to your sister about your concerns.  Use “I feel” phrases.  If you can’t work something out, discuss having her do a reading or something that falls in line with a special talent she has.  I’m not so sure about asking her to hand out programs.  I’d be insulted, personally.  Regardless of anything else, she is your sister.  Be the bigger person, but don’t create more headaches than it is worth. 

Post # 10
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since you’re getting married in a Methodist Church, your officiant will probably want you to include one or two readings-she could do one of those.

If you don’t have a good relationship with her, having her in your bridal party could be more stressful for your family. 

Post # 11
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Can she walk one of your parents/grandparents up the aisle? 

Post # 13
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d avoid the ‘handing out programs/bubbles’ type ideas – those look more like sympathy jobs than actual honors.  The reading idea is a good one.

Post # 14
11 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

Does your sister have kids? If so put the children in the ceremony, that’s what I did with my sister, not because I hate her but because she is a larger girl who does NOT like attention. Also, she lives far away so she wouldn’t be here for the bridesmaid stuffs.

If she doesn’t have children and you don’t want her involved in the ceremony, then don’t worry about it unless your parents are paying in my opinion, if the parents are paying it’s polite to give them some kind of satisfaction with this. How to do that without her being a bridesmaid, have her do a reading/say a poem at the ceremony?

Post # 15
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I too do not want my sister in my wedding. She acts really hood and we weren’t raised like that. She also doesn’t get along with fiancé. She also doesn’t have the besthygiene. We weren’t close growing up and she’s not that great of an aunt to my children. Since fiancé and I r paying for wedding she won’t b in it.

Post # 16
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@pinkcrush:  Two of my sisters are invited to the wedding at all so I can definitely relate.

I think the idea of passing programs is great since the reading is something more personal.


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