(Closed) I don't want my wedding to be a performance

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@penelopesmith:  We are going to an amazing steakhouse for our reception. We decided the “traditional” reception wasnt for us, so we are doing what makes us happy and we couldnt be more excited!! Go with what you want!

 

Post # 4
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

we are just doing the things we want to do, like talking to our guests, dancing, enjoying each other. maybe speeches but no toss, garter belt, nothing like that. it’s just a party to celebrate us, not what a bunch of people before us did or determined we are supposed to do Wink.

Post # 5
Member
22 posts
Newbee

We did away with MOST of it. We like toasting (as do our Maid/Matron of Honor / best man / dads), so we are keeping those.  We also like cake (alot), and our very dear friends are baking a cake for us, so we will cut that for everyone, which is an English tradition.  But we won’t have a song playing, or make it a big thing. Just like “hey guys….want some cake?” lol.  

 

We are NOT doing mother / father dances, or bouquet toss, or garter toss. That just seemed like more stuff we “have” to do instead of talking and drinking with our friends, and it wasn’t important to us. 

 

I say, just do what you want. If you want to nix all of it, go for it. If you want to pick and choose, do that. 

Post # 6
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with PP, do what makes you comfortable. As for the garter thing, I just don’t feel comfortable with Fiance crawling up my dress in front of both of our families. I don’t care what kind of tradition that is, it’s just NOT for me. So we’re definitely not doing it. I don’t think I’ll throw my bouquet either, although still undecided about it. 

Post # 7
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We skipped most of the traditional stuff.  We had a champagne brunch.  No DJ, entrance, dancing, garter or bouquet toss.  We did do cake cutting but it wasn’t a big production.  We did have toasts by the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man, and a short welcome by my dad. H and I also each said a short “thank you.”  

Post # 9
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

@penelopesmith:  Really? I haven’t read up on them at all, I bet it’s so interesting! You could post little notes about them in your wedding and how they don’t make sense to you now! LOL

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We’re skipping a few of the traditions. I think their weird personally, and I’m a very shy introverted person. Being on display is bad enough, I don’t need my Fiance going up my skirt to grab the garter. So we’re skipping the bouquet and garter toss. We’re doing the cake cutting though and first dance still. 

Post # 12
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@penelopesmith:  We are doing cake/cheesecake (YUM) and the dances. I don’t know if we will be doing toasts, I have a feelings that my dad will want to do one. We aren’t doing to boquet toss and the garter belt though. If you don’t like cake, I would do another dessert instead, but I don’t think you will regret not cutting the cake. I think the dances and the toasts might be something you want to have, because they are sentimental to look back on, but you should choose what makes you most happy/comfortable.

Post # 13
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@penelopesmith:  We skipped the bouquet toss (they don’t even do the garter toss here) and the dancing. So the only “performing” in the reception was the speeches (best man and my father, and some quick thank yous from us) and cutting the cake. Personally I think some sort of speech or toast is good to tie the night together. But do what you want.

I am a little concerned by your comment, “i don’t want to be pulled away from soon to be husband every 30 minutes to put  on a little show”. You’re not obliged to put on little shows – but you will inevitably be pulled away from your husband. Because it’s important to socialise with the guests and thank them. Time with your husband – that’s for after the reception, and then the honeymoon!

Post # 14
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@paula1248:  Good point. OP, if you are (understandably) worried about having some special with with your hubby, make sure you have time either before or after the reception to connect with him.

Post # 15
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You don’t have to do any of that stuff, and your guests will probably thank you. Most of those little traditions are dull at best and crass at worst.

Post # 16
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

There is no reason to do anything you don’t want to. If anything you might regret getting roped into “performances” you don’t feel like putting on! Just set up your wedding day the way YOU will enjoy it most. You’re no less married if you have a different dessert or don’t throw a bouquet or whatever.

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