(Closed) I don't want SO in the delivery room!!

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@xSparr0w:  I havent and I actually dont mind him there, besides Im sure he wouldnt want to miss that moment, but my BFF didnt want her Fiance there and the feeling was mutual he didnt want to be there either. He was too nervous and couldnt take it.  I think if you and your SO are in the same page then that’s good. GL

Post # 4
3942 posts
Honey bee

We aren’t TTC yet, but I cant imagine NOT having my DH there. It’s the most thrilling/exciting/scary/happiest time of your life and I would want and need him there with me. Not to mention, it’s his baby too.

What’s your reason for not wanting him there?

Post # 5
8031 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@xSparr0w:  My mom didn’t want my dad there, and he wasn’t. This isn’t something you have to get over if you really don’t want him there.

I don’t want my SO to see me like that either, but I don’t know if I could do it alone… I’d want him there for his support. He isn’t freaked out too easily, though, so should be ok.

Post # 6
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can always ask him to remain at the head of the bed if you don’t want him to have the view from the foot of the bed.




Post # 7
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just have him stay at the head of the bed (aka a “Northern Daddy”) and he won’t be able to see what’s going on down there like a “Southern Daddy” would.

I’d need my DH’s support.  DH thinks he will pass out but he’ll be there anyway!

Post # 8
3169 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

He can stand right by your head and hold your hand. Either way, it should be up to him. I know you feel weird about it but it’s his child, he should get to choose if he see’s it born.

Post # 9
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If he’s game with not being there (not being pressured to agree with you) then by all means that would totally work but if he wants to be there for the birth of his baby, you’ll have to adjust to the idea I feel like. I wouldn’t be able to take that experience from my DH but I’m not in your shoes either, I want DH by my side.

As others have said, he can just stick near your head.. he won’t see anything from there.

Post # 11
977 posts
Busy bee

Men feel differently when they see their baby born.  It’s not going to scar him for life, trust me.  He’ll have a bond with that baby. 

Post # 12
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

@xSparr0w:  I didn’t have mine in there either.  I had to make sure I was comfortable. It was just me and the doctor and the nurses.  SO and my mother stood right outside of the door and as soon as the pushing was over he got to come in and cut the cord! It all worked out!

Post # 13
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

DH would never miss being in the room with me.

Post # 14
3352 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

pretty sure the OP was asking for people who felt the same way she did and whether she had to get over it, not for you to come in here saying your DH would never miss being in the room, or that you can’t imagine your DH not being there etc. etc.

Post # 15
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t have kids, but if/when that happens I have conflicting feelings about it too.  Having the father in the delivery room is a pretty recent development. I don’t know, I think some things maybe do work better remaining in the female domain. When I think about it, I kind of think I’d rather have my mom there.  She’d be more use to me, she’s actually done three times before.  I don’t know, I reserve the right to change my mind about this up until the last minute.

Whatever you and your husband decide, it’s your own personal choice. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or like you “should” be doing it a certain way.

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