(Closed) I don’t want this to sound greedy, I really am worried people will think it is..

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It happens! Im sure your shower and wedding attendees have accounted for the close date and chose their gifts accordingly 🙂

Post # 6
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think it’s that weird, it’s not like it’s the weekend before.  Even then, I wouldn’t think anything of a shower date being close to a wedding date, they are related events.  It makes sense that they’re close together.  I don’t know how having them farther apart makes them less greedy… I mean it’s a gift-giving party.

Post # 7
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

this is a pretty normal timeline

Post # 8
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My shower is 3 weeks before wedding, seems pretty normal to me, I dont think you have anything to worry about.  Except that the invites havent been sent.  Wonder what she is waiting for?

Post # 9
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree. I think a lot of people have this timeline for showers or a simalar one.

Post # 10
1699 posts
Bumble bee

People expect showers to happen during the couple of months before the wedding, including three or even two weeks before, so don’t worry about that. People also know that they are expected to bring a gift to a shower (that is what a shower is all about), but they are grownups and can be trusted to manage their own budgets: most properly they will bring a small basic-housekeeping gift to the shower, and save their extravagant generosity for the gift they send privately to your home; or they will bring their wedding present to their shower (with an apology and an explanation, so as not to embarrass you and all the other shower guests by suggesting they consider extravagant gifts to be part of the shower expectation.)

But I wanted to suggest, that just as you don’t want to sound greedy for materialistic gain, you also don’t want to appear greedy for control and micro-management. The hostess of your shower is your sister. This is her event to plan, right down to the timing, the guest-list and the invitations. If it doesn’t “come off”, it reflects on her abilities, not on you. The LESS you have to do with arranging gift-getting opportunities for yourself, the MORE gracious you appear. Your role at a shower should be simply that of appreciative guest-of-honour, with the emphasis on guest. A good guest goes along with her hostess’s plans, is gracious to all the other guests, says “thank-you” repeatedly and goes home promptly when the party ends.

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