- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Have any of you ever just gotten to that point? The point where you want to throw up your hands and make it all go away?
Don’t get me wrong, I love my FI with every fiber of my being. I want to marry him and be his wife forever. He is the yin to my yang and he’s my very best friend.
I just don’t want the wedding to go with it anymore. When I first started planning, I thought it would be a lot of fun and everything would be magical. I was soooo wrong.
Throughout the process, as I’m sure most of you know, there have been hiccups. I have been trying to keep my head up through the whole thing but the more that come, the more I am just feeling beat down and strung out. I have spent far too much time crying over this wedding from people being jerks or things going wrong.
Granted, not much has gone wrong logistically. I had to redo my flower contract because the florist I placed the order with is having back surgery and won’t be able to do it anymore. Legit reason. And our venue screwed up some stuff and we have to re-do a really inconvenient process. BUT that’s not really that bad in the grand scheme.
Most of my problems have been with people. Namely FMIL and now my bridal party (but only the chicks in it…why are we such a catty gender, for real??). FMIL basically forced me into my rehearsal dinner (we wanted something small and low key at a BM’s house and it took a lot of convincing to get us to let her cater it at BM’s house – but not after she called FI behind my back and complained that I didn’t accept her offer to have the dinner at a nice restaurant. Sorry, but my Granddad has cancer, his comfort trumps YOUR desire to have OUR dinner at a restaurant). Then about a week later she decided she was going to ask for the diamond ring that FI’s grandmother gave him specifically for me back because “it meant more to her than it did to us.” That crushed me (and she offered us another diamond ring that she inherited from FI’s grandmother – she got 4 of them..wtf, who does that??).
At the beginning of planning, she also sent us a list of 40 people to invite (we only wanted 60 people max) and now that invites are going out, people are throwing fits that we only selected certain people off the list (because FI hadn’t seen since he was a kid/doesn’t like most of them) to invite, so FMIL has taken it upon herself to scan our invitation and email it to people who didn’t get one. *facedesk*
At my dress fitting I almost fainted several times and now I’m terrified of the actual day itself and I’m agonizing over my final fitting next week.
My granddad was in the hospital a couple weeks ago because he had a bad reaction to his chemo and they thought he had a stroke, but they aren’t sure. 🙁 His white blood cell count was way too low and they have to monitor him and might have to take him off – don’t know what would come next, though…cuz it’s freaking cancer. He’s supposed to give me away and he keeps talking like he’s not going to need a tux because he might die or be too sick to come or whatever and it’s tearing me up. He’s my only living grandparent and the one to whom I am the closest.
Monday I had a HUGE blowout between my MoH and myself (read about that here) which resulted in her dropping out of the wedding and then changing her mind about 15 minutes later even though she spent a good two hours telling me she never wanted to be MoH in the first place. And then yesterday, MY BIRTHDAY, my bridesmaid and FI’s best woman went behind my back and attacked my MoH via social media (she talks about her ‘healthy diet’ all the time and asked for a special meal at my reception – which I got for her – and refuses to eat any wedding cake) because she kept posting pictures of her eating In-N-Out and other greasy/junk food but can’t even have a slice of wedding cake (she’s on vacation, who follows a diet on vacation?). I appreciate that they were tired of the double sidedness of that, but dang guys. It’s my damn birthday and MoH is on vacation. Then they had the audacity to call FI and tell him to take my phone and delete any messages I may get from MoH so I don’t see them because it doesn’t involve me.
They *know* I worked out things with MoH and yet undermined that behind my back and tried to hide it from me and drag my FI into it. On my birthday. Like I somehow wouldn’t find out? MoH thought I put them up to it! It was such a mess.
Now today, FMIL keeps reiterating how happy she is that FI and I are having basically a “proper” wedding. FSIL had a really low key wedding on the beach and FMIL hated it. She’s happy that we’re doing it the “right” way with the big dress and all the over the top showmanship with the $ they gave us (which we’d save 3/4 of if we just ditched it all now and ran away to the courthouse). FMIL has basically been calling FI to make sure we didn’t get married without her since we had been dating for like 3 months. She’s crazy. And she really hurt me. And now she’s basically saying, “I’m glad one of you has the sense to have the wedding my daughter should have had.”
I am so over this. I’m in school full time and I am currently on my lunch break at work (I work when I’m not at school). Between the fights in the bridal party, the lack of support from MoH, FMIL hurting my feelings, the bridal party going behind my back, nearly fainting at my fitting, my granddad being sick, and all of that, I just feel like the reception is going to be someone else’s. Not mine. Not my wedding. The girls are going to be forcedly civil to each other and the pictures will be fake smiles. Plus there’s going to be alcohol so that could get messy. Especially since FMIL is a lightweight and gets really mean to FI when she drinks.
I don’t want this wedding anymore. I don’t. I have asked FI repeatedly if we could just elope but he says no because we sent out the invitations and people have already bought plane tickets/dresses, etc. 🙁 I don’t want it anymore. I am so miserable. I have been miserable for weeks and I have spent so much time crying. I don’t want to do this.
What would you do? Have any of you had to deal with this? How did it work out? Did you regret it? Or did you man up and go through with it and have a good time?