(Closed) I don't want to be a bride anymore.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, you are not wrong. Like you said, this is YOUR wedding. I would just ask her to be a guest, but make sure that she understands that it still means NO KIDS.

Post # 4
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly, I say do it however you want and dont worry about anyone else. Its YOUR wedding, YOUR choice. DO NOT let petty comments and behaviors of others make you hate being a bride. This is a special time and you deserve to enjoy it. I get that its your sister but still, she is 20 years older than you, she needs to grow up and get over it. I think the plantation is a wonderful idea! 

Post # 5
Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@vorpalette:  +1. I don’t see that it’s so important the the children of her boyfriend of 8 months have to be there

Post # 6
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ShutterbugCait:  Unfortunately you’re never going to be able to please everyone, that’s just life. Like the other bees have stated it’s your wedding do what makes you happy. I’m also having a kid free wedding, who wants kids running around wildly in the middle of the reception? I don’t that’s for sure. Screw what everyone thinks and just do you. Good luck

Post # 7
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

If the fact that you are perfectly okay with not having your children at the wedding is not enough to produce a similar decision by a guest, then what is?

Don’t let this stress get to you.  Don’t say that you don’t want to be a bride anymore.  

Post # 8
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do what you want girl, it is your wedding! I am not having children at my wedding either and if anyone suggested otherwise I would be just as upset as you. 

Post # 9
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Kids don’t even belong at weddings. Stay strong. 

Post # 10
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ShutterbugCait:  You are NOT wrong. Don’t let your sister’s piss poor attitude ruin things for you. The chips will fall where they may in terms of her affect on your guest count, but remember that even if she pulls out (and pulls others with her) you don’t want someone with a nasty attitude to be at your wedding, anyway.

 

Lots of hugs

Post # 11
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

why the F do her boyfriends kids need to be there? I’m assuming they have a mother that can watch them…?

Post # 12
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You are well within your rights to want a child free wedding. I know it’s a whole big debate, but I think it’s fine. So, in that regard, I think it is okay that you say that her boyfriend’s kids aren’t invited. But I also could understand if she decides she can’t come if those are the requirements. This is really complicated by the fact that her kids are invited (since they’re in the wedding) but his kids are not. I don’t know how serious they are, but my dad and step mom got married within a couple months of starting dating and they would have never brough some of us kids to an event if they had to leave the others behind. Steps are hard enough when you’re trying to bring a family together and make it feel like one family. I’m not saying they are, or should be, that serious, but it’s something to think about.

This situation is also more complicated because it sounds like you want his kids to not only not attend the wedding, but not attend the entire weekend. What about another babysitter that could watch his kids during the wedding but they could still be around during the weekend? I don’t know if that would be any better for your sister, but maybe a possibility?

In the end I think you are well within your rights to stick to your no kids except those that are in the wedding party policy. But it is also in her right to say she can’t do that. So no real easy answer. Hope it works out.

Post # 14
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

His kids probably don’t even want to come. Honestly, if my moms boyfriends brother was getting married, I wouldn’t give two shits…just being honest.

Post # 15
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, I am so sorry that you don’t feel like being a bride right now. That makes me really sad. I also must say that, since you and your fiance are paying for everything-it should be done exactly how you two want it; it should be everything you hoped for. Families are very tricky, as I’ve learned.

 

Personally, I don’t feel like the boyfriend’s kids have a right to be there… But, if you are considering compromising, maybe they could be at part of the reception and stay with your children’s babysitter?

 

Overall though, I truly don’t think you’re wrong for being upset. I feel like your sister should reevaluate her situation, because it is your day. And, I feel like for this one day/weekend it should be about what you want. The details of your wedding sound fabulous and it should be what you want!! I’d love to hear what you decide to do :).

Post # 16
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ShutterbugCait:  oh god your sister sounds like a real treat. stick to your guns they do NOT need to be there! I’ll take the his kids are her kids argument when her and her bf are married and she’s the official step mom.  Until then, no thanks! She needs to get a life, stop being a sisterzilla and respect your wishes.  

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