Post # 1
FH and I have some friends who are getting married this October. We are getting married March 19th next year.
I have been thinking about what I wanted to do when FH and I got married for the last 11 years. About a year ago I gave up the idea of a wedding and decided to use the money to buy a house. Thinking that I don’t want a normal wedding we can just elope.
Well as soon as the ring was on my finger I KNEW I wanted a wedding(VERY small due to budget). With my dad walking me down the aisle and a simple comfortible wedding reception. So the things I had been planning in my head came back into play.
But NOW I find out just about everything I want to do at MY wedding, our friends are doing that their’s. Since thier wedding is first and alot of the same people will be coming to both I’m worried they will think I’m copying her. I have no idea what to do, and it’s sending me into a mild panic attack. I know logically things will somehow work out but I still can’t help it I’m freaking out.
Do I change what I want cause she is doing it also? Or do I just plan the wedding according to what FH and I want, and not worry about what people think?
I hate that I feel like our wedding are in competition.
Post # 3
I think it depends… what kind of things do you want to do at your wedding that she is doing at yours?
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park
Do what you want. Everything about a wedding can be “copycat”. Sand ceremony? Done a million times over. Handfasting, Apache Blessing, Candle lighting, I could go on all day. In fact, isn’t that what wedding blogs are for? It’s inspiration, but a lot of the time you’re just recycling and reinventing what’s already been done. So I say, go for it! Do what feels like both of you as a couple and who cares if it’s similar to your friend’s wedding. It’ll still be a blast!
Post # 5
Like someone said above? Do what you want to. It’s your day. :). I personally don’t think it’s possible for someone to ‘copy’ someone else’s wedding ‘ideas’. With roughly 6 Billion people on this earth, I am sure there is bound to be some idea overlapping, lol. Good Luck and Congrats!! 🙂
Post # 6
I totally know where you are coming from. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and she had done of TON of similar stuff to what I was planning. It wasn’t even just vague ideas in my head, but like I had all the supplies or had done it already. To make matters worse the bride was like “Oh I’m sure you are looking around and getting lots of ideas”, so she’ll REALLY think I copied her.
Oh well, not much you can do. Like others said, a lot of the new ‘original’ ideas are super common if you spend time online. Do you have a lot of overlap in your guest lists? Since its not a huge problem if its just one friend who things you copied them, and it will still be new to all your other guests 🙂
Post # 7
Agreed ^^ It is your beautiful day so do whatever you had planned already. It is not worth the stress of trying to change it incase someone thinks you were “copying” her.. and truth be told, I don’t think that would come to a single guest’s mind because they don’t walk in trying to compare your wedding to someone else’s. They are there to celebrate with you! If they’re anything like half the people I know, they won’t even notice you have/don’t have flowers on the table, or what favors you used, what colors things were, if there were patterns… the only reason we think in terms like this is because we’re in planning mode. It will all work out =)
Post # 8
I originally wanted a dessert reception (but have nixed that idea because she is doing it).
I have to eat gluten free so a normal wedding cake is out of the question, so I thought cupcakes and a small cake on top for us to cut and save for our one year. Find out she is doing the same thing.
I wanted a wishing tree as an alternative to a guest book, find out she is doing the same thing, so I nixed that too.
Changed my oringinal colors cause I found out the colors she was dong are the same, mine were just more pastel/softer.
Oh no, I thnk I would have said something like “I have most everything already planned”. Yes there is guest overlap, not a ton since we are keeping our guest list to 40 (we don’t have alot of money.) But I have changed so much already or I’m not doing what I originally wanted.
Thank you everyone. Since I found out about the cupcake thing last weekend I have been trying to decide if I should change that too. I just don’t want to… I can’t keep changing things cause she is doing it. So what if she thinks I copyed her… you guys are right, there isn’t alot out there that haven’t already been done.
Post # 9
I don’t think you should change anything you’re doing because she’s doing it. It’s not as if she invented cupcakes or wishing trees.
You chose those things because they worked or meant something for you.
Post # 10
We went to a friend’s wedding last year and LOVED everything they did. When we got engaged and called to tell them, I flat out said how much we loved their wedding and that we are planning to fully steal a ton of their ideas.
They were beyond flattered, and the more ideas I tell them we “stole”, the more excited they are to experience the wedding from the guest side! She even sends me detailed pictures of things so I can show them to our vendors.
And I mean a TON of ideas. Here’s what I’ve stolen so far:
We are getting married in a restaurant at the top floor of a skyscraper. Ceremony and receiption are taking place in the restaurant.
Everyone in the wedding party is wearing whatever they want.
We are having their exact appetizers (mini sliders, mini mac and cheeses, tomato soup shooters with grilled cheese croutons).
We are having gourmet cookies instead of a cake.
I even brought their wedding pictures to our photographer to copy a lot of the shots they took, and I brought pictures of their flowers to my florist to mimic their look and feel.
Post # 11
I am in a slightly similar situation – except I’m the girl who got married first! We’re going to a friends’ wedding next month and from what she’s told me it is going to have very similar things to what we had. Part of me is upset that they’d choose what we did – but happy that 1. we did it first, 2. flattered they liked ours so much, 3. glad what we chose is “in style”.
I wouldn’t worry about it. Make your wedding day entirely yours – no matter what.