(Closed) I don’t want to be a no-show jerk! Help!!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

1) Can you and your sister drive to SoCal w/out your FI?

Edit: Sorry!  I didn’t realize you were already going to be in SoCal without your Fiance.  My second suggestion stands.

2) Can your Fiance fly out of SoCal to Utah? (sorry, don’t know much about CA so maybe this is not possible)

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You need to tell the bride about this in advance.  We were able to fill a few seats in the last minute.

Post # 5
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can he fly to Utah directly from SoCal?  When I had to travel last minute for work, my boss was really accomedating about flying out of / in to whatever airport would work for me, as long as the price wasn’t insanely different.  Since you’re talking NorCal vs SoCal, and not like Georgia or something, I wouldn’t think it would change the cost too much?  Can’t hurt to ask.

Post # 6
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can your Fiance fly from SoCal? Has his office already bought the ticket?

If he can, he can drive down with your sister, and then your sister and date can return with the car?

Post # 7
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This late in the planning I do think it would be rude. It is unlikely that the bride would be able to fill your seats last minute. She won’t get a refund on your food because her numbers probably had to be in weeks ago and she has already purchased the centerpiece, favor, etc. for the 4 of you.

It might not be the easiest thing for your Fiance to do, but etiquette wise it would be best for him to do the extra traveling. If you all decide not to go, you do need to let your cousin know ASAP, and send a very nice gift.

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Is there any other way (train or bus) for your sister to get to SoCal?  I would be so sad if 3 or 4 people couldn’t attend the wedding.  I’d be more than understanding if 1 couldn’t, but you should definitely 1. Tell the bride ASAP and 2.  Try to figure out an alternative ASAP.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Circumstances come up & people can’t make it sometimes, its life. However, you MUST tell the bride! You shouldn’t even have to think about that… how hurt you would be if people just didn’t show up to your wedding? 

Four people, that’s 1/2 a table…. since you RSVP’d yes & your sister is relying on him, you definitely need to make it work!

Post # 11
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Definitely tell the bride.. if 4 people cant come she may be able to fill the seats so it might work out! If not yea can he fly out from SoCA to Utah?

Post # 12
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

1) Tell the bride immediately.

2) If at all possible, get everyone to the wedding that RSVP’d yes. How would you feel if she did the same thing to you?

Post # 13
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Okay, now that you have updated, my suggestions are this:

1) Have your fiance try to fly out of SoCal and have your sister take a train or bus back if she can’t afford plane tickets.

2) Have your fiance drive to SoCal for the wedding and go back up to NorCal with your sister and fly out of there for work.

3) Have your sister take a bus or whatever both ways and have 3 out of 4 of you go.

4) I would tell your cousin about your plans ASAP because I’m sure she has her final count in and won’t be able to get anyone else to come.

Post # 15
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

could you rent a car for the one way drive? then return it? it doesnt help her get back but there are cheap last minute flights or allegiant air or something!

Post # 16
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Marinara: Bus, maybe?  Wayyyy cheaper than the train.

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