- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Has anyone ever not wanted to go to their own bachelorette party?
Because I don’t.
If it was someone else’s bachelorette, I’d decline the invite.
It’s a pole dancing class – which is something I thought would be fun and asked if we could do. I even sent them a couple places in the NJ area that were reasonably priced and easy to get to, to save them some research. The only thing I said about it is that I know that there are lots of places to do that in NYC, but I don’t WANT to go to NYC, and I especially don’t want to get a hotel there (I didn’t want to do a hotel in the first place). They said OK.
Well, we’re going to NYC.
And I wouldn’t have invited as many people as I did if I knew that.
I am embarassed (almost humiliated) about the costs for people who need to travel in (even driving in is a $12 toll, plus parking fees), PLUS the costs of the class, hotel, dinner, etc.
I HATE the crowds in the city (if it’s too crowded I panic), and I don’t want to stay in an NYC hotel – I never wanted to stay in an NYC hotel.
I don’t want to GO!
They asked me which weekend would be better- the weekend before my wedding or the first weekend of the month. I said “Well, the first weekend of the month would be better so i can get any last-minute stuff done that weekend before” They literally said, OK but too bad we’re doing it the weekend before the wedding.
I HAVE SO MUCH WEDDING STUFF TO DO STILL, and missing that weekend is going to really cost me dearly AND stress me out.
On top of that, no one seems to have anything planned for dinner/drinks, which is pretty much where this party is headed (again, if it wasn’t “my” party a reason I’d skip it would be the NYC drinking scene – I hate it). I have a bunch of people who don’t want to spend an entire Saturday into Sunday at a party (they have lives, or kids, or plans) and they want to just come for dinner – OK fine.
The Maid/Matron of Honor just sent out an email about the time/place/cost fot the class, and the cost (only) for the hotel, but there’s nothing in there about dinner, or drinks, or dancing. It’s just “we’re taking a class at this time and then we have this hotel” which isn’t much info at all.
I told my mom that I don’t want to go, that this isn’t something I’m comfortable with and wouldn’t be something I’d go to for anyone else (I’d do the class and then just go home).
Her answer was sort of I understand but you have to just grin and bear it.
I feel like I’ve been just ‘grinning and bearing it” for this WHOLE WEDDING – I wanted to ELOPE and we are having a big, expensive wedding with 100 guests. I said OK to this because it’s what my fiance wants and always dreamed of, and I struggle with the cost, planning, and size of our wedding every damn day.
I feel like I’ve panicked enough over my own wedding (seriously), I don’t need to freak out over anything else. But I am.
The big party/poor planning bachelorette thing is really sending me into a tailspin – I just plain don’t want to put up with any more fussy, big deal parties – especially one that’s supposed to be for me!
I don’t understand why I can’t just do something that isn’t what someone else wants to do!! I even ASKED (nicely! really, I mean it!) for some requests the bachelorette and they did what they wanted to anyway!
I want to cancel it SO BADLY.
I know everyone will say to me “just grin and bear it, they’re doing something nice for you” but I am on the edge of anxiety attack every time I think about it.
It’s not something I’m looking forward to – it’s something I’m dreading.