- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I know that sounds terrible, but I’m having major stress and anxiety over the whole thing and need some sound advice.
My Fiance and I want a small wedding. We were hoping to keep it under 60 people but we’re already at 73 people that we’d absolutely love to have there.
There are 20 people on my father’s side of the family that I’d rather not invite. If we do, that puts us up to 93 people. It’s above our budget and we really can’t afford it. But moreso, I don’t really want those people there. I only see them once a year at Christmas time and even then, it’s only for about an hour or so. I never see my cousins on that side of the family and there is a LOT of heated drama with some of my aunts and uncles. There is one aunt and uncle in particular that I’d rather have nothing to do with ever again over some very intense family drama that was completely uncalled for. Let’s just say that my aunt (who is also my godmother) was calling up my parents at 3am yelling at them and making threats that were completely uncalled for. I’d rather not have them and their kids at my wedding.
Furthermore, I’ve already been married once. I had a courthouse wedding and then a year later, I had a renewal of vows ceremony at a restaurant and invited everyone. It was a huge affair and everyone treated it like a wedding. So, I’m wondering if I can get away with having a smaller guest list and hope that these people will not care so much since they already came to a somewhat wedding celebration of mine (and maybe they’ll be glad that they don’t have to buy another gift!)
However, I don’t want to create even more family drama and I don’t want a long-lasting family feud to start. But we really don’t want to stretch our budget since 20 extra people adds on quite a bit to the budget. I’m worried that they will find out that the other side of my family was invited and get pissed. Although my other side of the family only consists of one uncle. No cousins, no aunts, nothing. Just my mom and her brother. That’s it.
I’m sorry this is so long-winded. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I honestly just want the people who matter to us most in the world to be there and no one else. I feel completely disconnected from my dad’s side of the family. Even if I invited these people, they’d probably sit there motionless like they did the first time around and go home within a few hours (most didn’t even stay for cake). They just looked miserable and sat at their tables the whole time. They didn’t seem like they enjoyed themselves at all and I didn’t even know when they left because they didn’t say goodbye. What do I do? I feel like I’d be breaking all sorts of etiquette rules and I feel awful about it.