(Closed) I don’t want to invite them…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I get it!  My invite list is 300, and I can’t really argue because my parents are paying for it.  So yes, you’ll get the coworkers who you don’t really see often and other people you don’t really know.  But I have stuck to this piece of advice whenever I freak out about all the people I’m not close to.  The wedding is to please your family/friends (for the most part), but the honeymoon is for you and your FH and only you two!  Good luck and try not to stress about it too much πŸ™‚  Just think of your honeymoon πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@agirlwithdreams7: I’m with you. We just rented another section of the ballroom so that our ever-growing list of FIL’s coworkers and such can come. I don’t even know these people, and I seriously doubt Mr.ND does, either. But as PP mentioned, I’m not paying for the wedding reception and as Mr.ND is an only child, this is his parent’s one big party to host.

I will enjoy the wedding so much, just me and Mr.ND in our own little world while everyone looks on, and even if it’s just tenting it for a few days, the time together ‘just us’ on our cheap-o version of a honeymoon will be so nice.

Maybe you can do a little ‘couple time’ right after the ceremony and before the big party. Just take 5 minutes to be alone, the two of you, and enjoy the first few moments of being husband and wife. And you could always gather your parents/family around at a specified time and ask them to give you two their best wishes, just to have a smaller, more intimate family aspect to your big (and getting bigger) day. 

I’m right there with ya, dear. Just keep on smiling and remember that at the end of the day, you’ll be a fabulous wife to a fabulous husband πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@agirlwithdreams7: Oh, no, it doesn’t sound bad. I have to remind myself (sometimes daily) that that is what a wedding is about, the start of a marriage. Not the guest list, the favors, the food, etc. I’m glad my advice helped you a little, and I remind myself of it often as well when things start getting a little bonkers. 

Mr.ND knows that I focus on this more and more as the day gets closer (we will have nearly a 2 year engagement before we are married). We also plan to write letters to one another to read before the hubub of the day starts, and also one to store away and open a year later. Sometimes when I squeeze him extra-long in a hug, he just smirks because he knows I’m thinking in my head that I’m hugging my future husband πŸ™‚ I’m such a cheeseball, haha.

 

Post # 8
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

When we started planning, we were looking at renting a tent for the reception… Then we moved it to my club… I was lucky that my really limited her list. I’m not inviting any of my cousins, because my side of the family is larger than my husbands. Darling Husband is inviting some of his cousins, but his family is soooo small that it works out to about the same amount of people on both sides. 

Post # 11
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i go with the fire marshall excuse. fire code says no more than 70 in our venue area. therefore i hit 70 and no more add ons. i do know who said they werent coming and filled in accordingly but fire marshall says i have a limit. i even had people offer to opay and that worked on them.

Post # 13
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our ceremony venue holds 100 people MAX and 300 people MAX for the reception, but that’s not 300 people sitting down. They only have 100 chairs! so the 300 is flowing. I figure, my mom and his mom want to invite all these people to the reception, and they are the ones paying, let them come. If there’s no where to sit, they will give their congrats, have some cake and leave. Most people won’t stay long if they don’t know very many people. And YES, take a moment for yourself after the ceremony, we plan on taking about 30 minutes or so hiding from everyone <wink, wink> (his idea and I love it). Most brides say the day is just a blur, and I can see that. So, as long as you think of the bigger picture (being married to the love of your life) rather than the one piece of the puzzle (the guests) you will make it through! πŸ™‚

 

Good luck to you

Post # 14
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

heyitssamyrae If not a full blown honeymoon, hopefully you can do a minimoon and go away for a couple days just the two of you πŸ™‚  I’m sure you’ll recoup some money from gifts etc πŸ™‚  Its so hard not to be stressed out about these things, I totally understand.  I’ve had my breakdowns, but you will overcome them! 

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