- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
My sister is five years older than me and has been engaged for four years. They’ve been together for seven years compared to the two that me and FI have – we’ve been engaged for six months.
Anyway, while my sister wants a huge but casual wedding, me and FI want a tiny, family-only but very classy affair. Of course ours is cheaper, so we were initially looking at early 2015.
My sister wanted to be married two years ago, but instead chose to have major surgery to correct a (almost invisible) slant in her jaw. She did this mainly because she wanted to look good in her photos – which I get, even if I can’t for the life of me see this slant she’s talking about! (seriously, the woman’s a supermodel.)
But now she’s started talking about July 2015 – and my Mum has made it very clear she doesn’t want them too close together – and that I have to change my date. My sister’s said she’s already pushed hers back once and she won’t do it again.
I mentioned February, or perhaps March – and she keeps telling me that it’s too close, that she doesn’t want the stress of planning two weddings (even though me and FI are going to be planning it!). She’s also told my sister that if the weddings are that close together, then some people won’t go to hers if they feel obliged to come to mine, of course this upset my sister because she wants everyone there too!
Thing is everyone keeps telling me why my plans are bad but won’t give me a suitable alternative. Mum wants me to push our wedding forward to October this year, which we can’t afford, and my sister’s genius idea is that I should push my wedding back and have a baby first – even though everyone knows I am very traditional and would want to be married first.
I’ve already pushed back having a tattoo I want for four years because my sister told me it would ruin her wedding photos. A few times I’ve got close to having it but then I worry she’ll be mad at me for it.
I don’t want to seem like I’m being selfish or trying to compete with my sister… I just want the wedding we can afford, when we want it. But I feel like everything about my wedding is a pain for everyone else – I know my sister’s been waiting a long time so I’m trying my best to be gracious and sort something out… but it hurts my feelings.
I know it sounds totally stupid and selfish, but I’m starting to feel like my wedding isn’t as important as my sisters. Every decision has to be made around hers – because she’s older and been waiting longer it’s like she gets priority. And I DO understand that. I’m trying my hardest to be generous and let her have first choice on everything; and I know it makes me seem bratty and selfish and awful, but I don’t want my wedding to be the reason my sister’s wedding isn’t perfect.
Does anyone have any advice?