(Closed) I don't want to ruin my sister's wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 32
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You picked your date first. You get first dibs. If the earliest she can do a wedding is July, then chances are she won’t be having it in July. It’ll get pushed back to August or September because she might not be healed enough from what seems like a major surgery. If you’re planning it yourself, you get to say when it happens. And if your parents are wanting to pay for your venue, just remind them that February is off-season for most places and you’d be getting it at a decent price.

Post # 34
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
@CookieCreamCakes:  I will (slightly) disagree with you on your statement regarding engagement length and whether it dissolves or not. My older sister has been engaged since winter of 2009 (4 years) and only set a date for her wedding early in 2013. There are many reasons couples don’t set a date immediately and I don’t think the length of the engagement is a really fair way of judging whether they make it to the altar or whether the marriage will last. Maybe a better way of viewing it is whether or not the couple has a solid foundation to begin with – I would guess most engagements built on a solid foundation, regardless of length of the engagement, have a better chance of ending in marriage than those built on unstable foundations.

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@ZebraPrintMe:  Honey, you should plan the wedding that you and your Fiance want. I get that your sister is probably upset and your mom is upset because your sister is. . . but at some point you need to draw the line and say that enough is enough. 5 months is more than a reasonable amount of time between weddings, especially if most of your guests will be local (not sure if that is the case here or not).

I suggest you and your Fiance sit down and discuss the pros and cons to waiting until February. Come to a decision together and then tell your mom what that decision is and that it is not up for further discussion. They will be angry and they’ll probably try and talk you out of it, but this is a choice that only you and your Fiance can make. No one can make you change your date unless you let them.

On a personal note, my sister got engaged in 2009 and I got engaged last November. She set her date a year ago, but if she hadn’t set it by the time we got engaged then Fiance and I wouldn’t have waited for them to decide. After a lot of discussion, we decided that our lives weren’t going to be put on hold for them. Luckily, we never had to face that situation and due to a variety of reasons (of which my sister’s wedding is only a small part) we will have close to a year between our weddings.

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