(Closed) I don’t want to sound like a brat, but…

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 47
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@ArwenBride:  That is the point exactly!

@Joeydoodle If my a guest made a scrapbook for me, or knew how much my husband and I loved “xyz” and got us that instead of a stainless mixing bowl or something random for the registry I would without a doubt love it. However seeing that we picked a cobalt blue blender and you buy the black one because you think it looks better, that is where the frustration lies.

Post # 50
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LindaD76:  Thank you, I thought I was the only one thinking this….

 

  I’m reading through this thinking….”Wow…..you didn’t get the expensive knives you registered for, but you DID get a set of knives….riight??” 

Post # 51
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Oribel013690: Maybe you should have registered @ Walmart. Lol! I think the issue is not so much that people are not getting what you want, it’s just that they are thinking that if i could afford that, I rather get it for myself than for anyone else. Sadly that’s the sort of mentality these days.

Post # 52
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think some people like to feel like they are “surprising” the bride and groom.  My aunt never gets anyone anything off of their registry because she thinks it’s impersonal.  Now that I’m getting married, I can see the annoyance in not getting the things you registered for.  I get things off the registry unless it’s a really close friend/family member.  Then I get them something keepsake-ish yet usable from Tiffany (candlesticks, cake plate, bowl, etc.). 

Post # 53
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I just remember FH telling me one of our guests asked him if we were registered anywhere else because she “didn’t like” anything on our registry. Oh so sorry we didn’t pick stuff you would fancy!

Post # 54
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I always give cash for weddings anyway (I’m starting to think this is just a NJ/NY thing), but my Future Mother-In-Law always buys a gift, and it is always something that is not on the registry.

Post # 55
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think you’re a brat. I went thru the same thing with our baby registry. We got like 6 pairs of “adorable” baby shoes and probably 4-5 “precious” hats but no bottles and one package of diapers. I returned and bought the things we actually needed – thanks to the barcode scanner on the Google Shopper App (AWESOME way to figure out where things came from).

I agree that it’s understandable that people want to purchase their “own” things but if they want to spend their money on something we’d be thrilled to receive they should buy off our registry.

Personally, I LOVE a registry because I know that my money is going towards something that is the recipients taste or a need. I even make my brothers and sisters give me a “list” to pick something off at Christmas so I can get them something they’re going to be excited about (and not need to return or exchange).

Post # 56
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@jenroh1984: It’s not really about expensive knives. A wedding registry is a special occasion (like PP said you wouldn’t do one for your Bday) so yeah, you end up putting things on it in a RANGE of price points, things you wouldn’t just hop over to Walmart and buy, so if someone wants to go all out and get you a nice knife set they can. If they don’t, they can get you that cool coffee mug you registered for. I’m sure OP has a range of price points on her registry.

If someone gets her crappy knives she wouldn’t have gotten herself, when they could have spent the same amount of $$ getting something (not knives) off the registry, then it’s just pure waste. It’s a nice gesture, but she’s not gonna use them. She can feel grateful for the gesture but frustrated at the same time. And she’s venting here, not to her Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 57
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think you’re a brat and I had similar thoughts on thankfully only a few items. We got a set of ugly yellow/brown king sized sheets. When I opened it at the shower the gift giver said, “these are my favorite sheets, you’ll love them” Well I don’t love them because the color made me want to vomit. What sucked too was that she bought them at a department store we don’t have so I can’t return them unless I want to travel 11 hours :/

Post # 58
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t think you are being a brat.  It is not like you are going to go up to those people and complaining that they bought gifts that weren’t on your registry.  It is very annoying that we spend all the time on the registry and guests buy whatever they think the couple will want.  I also think some people need to get off their high horse and stop lecturing people.  It really gets old. If I wanted a lecture I would go to church.

Post # 60
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

@norab2684: Have you had a shower yet? You do know that when people shop at some stores and they also buy other items for themselves, those items sometimes end up inadvertantly added to the registry. Its happened to many people, so it is possible they really aren’t giving it to you, but rather the store employee made a mistake and it showed up as a purchased registry item.

Post # 61
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

No, I don’t think it’s greedy or you’re a brat if you’re frustrated when people don’t buy off of your registry.  You wanted those things for a purpose whether it’s an upgrade from your current items or you want to match the rest of your set, it shouldn’t really matter to anyone.  If people don’t like your personal taste and it offends them to buy something that they don’t like, they should stick with gift cards/cash/or not give a gift at all.

I understand humility but at the same time I’d be pretty annoyed if someone got me a cheaper version of something I asked for.  While I certainly have the grace not to say anything to the person and to thank them for their generous gift, in all honesty I’d end up returning or, failing that, donating things I don’t want.

I’ve been trying to make a serious effort to de-clutter my house and reduce the amount of trash I throw away.  So if I registered for the expensive knives and someone got me a cheaper version, I wouldn’t keep it.  I already have cheap knives and five years after I bought them?  Half of the handles are loose and a lot of them are rusting which equals more things into the trash.  So rather than making do with the cheap version that will be in the landfill in 5 years when they fall apart, they are going back to the store.

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