I don't want to swallow saliva after oral sex, and pissed my husband off

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You. Don’t. Have. To. Do. Anything. You’re. Uncomfortable. With. Even when you’re married. 

Post # 3
2662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

He’s your husband. That’s it. 

He can’t make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with and don’t want to do: that is wrong. 

Post # 4
10508 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Good god your post is disturbing. Everything your husband did is beyond unacceptable. You should NEVER be pressured into sexual acts you are uncomfortable with. And to react with anger when you don’t want to swallow. What the fuck?! 

I would not be having sex with him again unless sincere apologizes were made and he never, ever pulled that shit again. Honestly, he would be lucky to even get a second chance.

Post # 5
2842 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
wc335577 :  Your husband sounds like a total dick tbh. I just asked my fi if it bothers him if I dont since I’ve never considered it and he was like “why the fuck would that bother me?” You dont have to give oral at all if you dont like it and you sure as hell dont have to swallow it. 

Post # 6
271 posts
Helper bee

What the actual eff? Your husband is a dick.

1. NEVER do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to give him oral, do not do it. He should not pressure you into doing anything. 

2. Why should he care what you do with your saliva? But then to get pissed and push you out of bed?!?!?! 

Nothing in this post is okay. Absolutely nothing. I don’t blame you for being insulted with the whole situation, it’s absurd. He needs to calm the eff down and be grateful you were even willing to please him. I would have a serious talk with him and tell him how uncomfortable it made you feel and how incredibly out of line he was. 

I would be surprised if you could even look at him the same after that sexually. 

Post # 7
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Pushed you out of bed?! 

A husband should NEVER push his wife for any reason, let alone for such a stupid reason. I would be very angry about the situation until he was begging for forgiveness. You should also make it clear that YOU decide what you want to do sexually and that he should never ever lay his hands on you again. 

He is 100% in the wrong here. 

Post # 8
4501 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You don’t have to swallow. You don’t have to perform oral sex. You aren’t required to give your husband sexual gratification of any kind when you don’t wish to. HE had no right to do anything he did. 

Post # 9
139 posts
Blushing bee

Sexual consent has to be given freely. 

Coercion, abusive behaviour and bullying are not consistent with obtaining sexual consent.

Your husband is getting damn close to sexual assault. 

There is nothing ok or normal about his behaviour. Repeat that as many times as you need to. 

Post # 10
3932 posts
Honey bee

Oh bee, please know that this is wrong on so many levels!  You do not have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.  And to push you off the bed is abusive!

Post # 11
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

sorry you are going through this. i hope its not something that wil escalete to abuse but do keep a weary eye out for signs

Post # 12
396 posts
Helper bee

Exactly what catash said:  “You. Don’t. Have. To. Do. Anything. You’re. Uncomfortable. With. Even when you’re married.”  A thousand, billion, zillion times what catash said!

And if you’re pressured to do it anyway, that IS abuse.  You do not have to stand for that.  I wish I had someone to tell me that 40-some years ago.

Post # 13
6162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

What a pig. I’d spit it out on him.

Post # 14
7761 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Wow, bee, your DH does not respect you at all. I would expect his behavior to only get worse/bolder now that he has treated you this way once. This is absolutely abusive behavior. 

Post # 15
3356 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
wc335577 :  yeeaahhh….first time poster? Me thinks we have something lurking under a bridge. 

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