(Closed) I don't want to be the wife that…….. just for fun

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
3534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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Mrshazelgrove:  I think there is a swing towards putting the marriage above the children and honestly, I agree with it (although i don’t have children so I can’t attest to how I’ll feel when we do have little ones).  But I am also a child of divorce, and I was put ahead of my parents marriage.  I would much rather have come second and not grown up in a broken home.

Post # 33
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I never want to be the wife that stifles her husband’s true self, that stops him doing and being the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

Post # 34
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

I agree with so many of these! Especially the putting the marriage first– without a great marriage, the kids are much more likely to suffer. (I know this to be true when I was growing up).

Also agree with

-letting myself go

-being belittling, rude, or controlling to my husband 

I think for me, I never want to be the sitcom wife where everything the husband does is stupid and wrong (see: Everybody loves Raymond or Modern Family, etc). I hate the bumbling husband stereotype! 

I also want to maintain my own life and interests. I don’t want to be just a wife/mom! 

Post # 35
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I love this thread! It puts these things in the forefront of your mind, to actively try not to be that person ๐Ÿ™‚

I never want to be the wife that doesn’t enjoy her husband.. in every way ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 36
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Mrshazelgrove:  Me and DH both agree we will both put the kids first, us a very close second. We will be a team but what they want and need has to come before us. That’s the deal we made. I’m so glad we both think the same way.

Post # 37
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I never want to be the wife who loses her identity upon getting married.  I come from an older retirement community in SW Florida and I know too many women who are known as Mrs. Robert Jones. . . sorry generic example LOL They stopped doing things they loved like water skiing or bike riding or horse back riding because – and this is verbatim . . “I’m now a wife and mother”. It upsets me greatly. I know they dedicated thier whole lives to the service of others and this is noble . . but what about when they had things they loved to do too?  — I also never want to be the wife that all the friends hate. . because they think shes controlling. I never want to be the kind of wife who loses respect for her husband and belittles him – or forgets that he is supposed to be her best friend and team.

Post # 38
Member
6379 posts
Bee Keeper

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sway0060:  I would never want to be the wife that doesn’t listen to her husband’s side of things.  Or that thinks she’s always right and he’s always wrong.

Post # 39
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee

I also don’t want to be the wife who lets herself go after the wedding or kids. Fiance and I have discussed this, and agreed that he’s not allowed to let himself go either! We’ve probably lost 50 lbs between the two of us already, not for the wedding, but for our health.

Post # 40
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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sway0060: 

I don’t want to the wife who marries an asshole who bitches about me to coworkers, as a form of small talk.  

I don’t want to be the wife who marries a coward who won’t stand up for me in public.  You know, instead of having my back, feels the need to apologize for me to STRANGERS because he has to look like the good guy.  

And most of all I don’t want to be the wife who sits around judging other women as to the type of wife they are.  Unless you’re in the relationship yourself, you have no clue what’s going on behind closed doors.  

Post # 42
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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sway0060:  ?

Post # 44
Member
940 posts
Busy bee

I never want to be the wife who mimics all her hobbies and fun to his. 

My husband hunts,fishes and does all sorts of outdoor manly type of activity. I have zero interest in any of that. I’ve went with a couple of times But it’s not my scene. I see way too many women changing everything about themselves just to be his “ideal” woman. nope, I believe in having our own time and our own outlets. He knew long before he married me I wasn’t that person. 

Post # 45
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t want to the the wife who forgets to put herself first from time to time. Family demands can bog you down and sometimes you need a minute, an hour, and afternoon. I never want to forget that in order to take care of my marriage, my children, my family, I need to take care of myself too.

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