(Closed) I don’t why this upsets me so much (rehearsal dinner)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

are the Father-In-Law paying for the dinner?

Post # 4
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My parents really wanted to include my uncles and cousins and stuff that were traveling to our dinner (we paid for it). 

We ended up doing a dessert and drinks after dinner open house.  It worked out really well.  We had rehearsal at 4:30, dinner from 5:30-7:30 and invited everyone to stop by around 7:30.  Actually by the time 7:30 came around all the people at the dinner had kinda already talked/taken pictures/etc so it was nice when more people actually showed up by 8.   It was some of the few times I was able to actually talk to some of the family that came down for the wedding.

Post # 5
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are upset because you had something in your mind and then it got changed by someone else. And also because these people have been a thorn in your side from the beginning. It’s okay to be upset about it.  But try not to let these people or this event detract from all the happiness you have going on. 

Post # 6
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

If she’s hosting I really don’t think she needed to consult you.  These are probably family members of hers that she doesn’t get to see often.  If she wants to invite them to HER home for the rehearsal dinner then let her do so.  There will be enough other people there that you don’t need to interact with these people.  When you make a speech thanking people for helping out with your wedding, they know they didn’t help, no need to make a point of excluding them.  Don’t let this get you upset.. in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal.

Post # 7
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Is she the offical host of the party and paying for it?

Post # 8
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I can understand both why you are upset and why Future Mother-In-Law invited them.  Try not to let it get under your skin.  The extended family will be there in support of your new union and even though they haven’t been able to show support by attending other events – are doing so now.  While I know you wanted something more intimate – the people that HAVE been putting effort into your wedding WILL be there and you will find yourself surrounded with SO MUCH love and support. 

Post # 9
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Honestly it sucks but I think at this point it is something to choose to let go. We dealt with a TON of rehearsal dinner drama several months ago. My dad is paying for it and my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to invite all Out of Town guests because she didnt want to not include anyone. I wanted to have something small and intimate. In the end we are having all Out of Town guests and I couldnt be happier. It will give us more time to spend with the majority of our guests (We have about 95-100 of 130 wedding guests coming to the RD) and it will help make our wedding day a little less nerve racking since we will already have been around a HUGE group of people!

Just try to enjoy everything and remember that even though you are upset now you will most likely have a great time when the day comes and you will think how silly it was for you to be upset!

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