- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Is that so terrible of me? I have always had a debilitating fear of being in front of people, and it goes back as far as I can remember. Family, friends, coworkers, strangers, it doesn’t matter, my nerves simply won’t let me do it without becoming a big bawling mass of goo. I could be standing in front of my 20 closest family members at Christmas dinner and be rattling off the grocery list and I will want to upchuck. Bacj to the subject at hand. Future husband and I had originally planned on about 100 people, but after thinking long and hard about it, and coming up with a real budget, we consolidated the guest list down to about 40 people and it will be held in a small winery with people already at the tables during the ceremony and dinner and music directly after. In the last few months we have have both been completely worn out by work, had to move in with the future in-laws due to unforseen job loss, stress from a new job, family drama, and now having legal issues with some personal things that will probably drag out over the next year which has left us both completely on edge and our nerves unraveling. I can be talking about what I want to have for dinner and burst out crying because I am just so stressed out from everything and then I have the stress from worrying about 42 pairs of eyeballs being glued to me while I’m standing up in front of them saying personal things, while I’m already a mess to begin with. Future husband and I talked about this issue and decided we would like to have just our parents present for the vows before everyone else arrives, and then we’ll be relaxed enough and the stress will be gone so we will be able to enjoy the rest of the evening. Is this horrible of me? Has anyone else done something similar or had a similar situation?Advice, tips/tricks would be appreciated!