Please, please understand that my telling you to let it go is not to tell you to bend over backward and accomodate anyone. It’s to tell you to accept it and work around it. You don’t have to change a dress color to make this girl happy. Just tell her it’s one day, and she never has to look at the pictures if she doesn’t want to. Then let it go. Don’t think of it again. Don’t cloud your mind with dark thoughts.
Always tell someone how you feel, then let it go. Letting it go is for your peace of mind. It doesn’t mean give up or give in. It means do not keep it close to your heart. Do not let it touch you or hurt you. Deal with it at the time, then do NOT EVER deal with it again. That’s what letting go means. After you tell her that about the dress color, that is the END of the discussion. There is no further talk about it. Let it go.
If she brings it back up, laugh. then let it go, because at the end of the day, she will wear whatever you tell her to wear.
If you take authority, address the issue and tell people how it’s going to be, then you do not need to continue thinking about it or harboring it. You must not feel your choices are final. You must allow be allowing people to override your choices. If that’s the case, you need to stop doing that. Let your choice stand, and then let go of everything else that people say that doesn’t matter. If someone points out something important, of course you can change your decision, but you feel the way you feel because you are not taking authority, making a choice, and letting your choice stand.
You might have to tell her that you love her, but she’s free to walk away if she’s really unhappy. Let her be free to walk away with NO HARD FEELINGS, and let it go, whether she walks away or stays. Do not let it trouble your heart.
I just wanted to add, when my niece gets upset about how her little friends at school behave, I tell her to let them know what the deal is. She gets all upset about hurting someone’s feelings, but I ask her “who has to be comfortable? them or you?” she squirms and says, “me.” I tell her, “that’s right. So do what you need to do to be comfortable, because there’s no reason for you to be upset and mad while they are laughing and glad.”
Same thing with you, Missy. Handle it and then let it go so you can be happy.