(Closed) I feel a bit guilty accepting parents’ money for wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You are such a sweetie for feeling this way. I would accept the money knowing that my parents would want to do this amazing thing for me, but I would make sure I’m super mind-ful about costs. A good gift back to them would be coming in under budget!

I”m sure you’re parents thought about it and had a serious discussion prior to their offer.

 

Edit>> to answer your question, I have felt guilty about accepting money from my parents but it was never that much. Other than what I already posted, the only other thing I can say is to make sure it’s not wasted.

Post # 4
Member
2406 posts
Buzzing bee

Personally I don’t think I could take the money knowing it would put them into debt. Do you have family in Maui or is it just a DW? If it is a Destination Wedding, does it have to be in Maui? What about a nice place where you can drive to save you the airline fares?

I know the allure of a Destination Wedding, as I had one myself. However we did it knowing that we would be able to comfortably afford it. 

Post # 5
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I personally wouldn’t take the money if it meant that they have to go into debt.  Can you compromise and have them buy the flowers or a part of it? 

I think it says loads about your character by not feeling right about it.

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Whoops. Double post. 

Post # 10
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My parents paid for my recpetion, but there was no guilt here b/c I knew they could afford it and I didn’t spend on anything I would not have spent my own money on.  My mom was actually encouraging me to go all out and just do/spend whatever I wanted, but I couldnt do it.  I guess in that way, I would have felt guilty if I were careless with the money.  However, if my parents has to go into any sort of debt for my wedding, I would not take the money.  I’d scale back, DIY, somehow do it on something I could afford myself.

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee

I feel guilty about accepting money from my parents as well especially since they have run into financial issues occasionally. However, I feel like they will be offended if we did not accept their help because we are the first to get married and they have been really involved. It really is frustrating because it’s a no-win situation. 

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

OP, they love you and with the goodness thats in their heart they gifted you the money – yes they may have to struggle to afford it but thats what family who love you do, they put others first and this is important to them.

you can offer to either reduce the value or not gift it to you but they most probably would still want you to have it

Post # 13
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in the same situation, but I can’t imagine not taking the money. From the time I was a little girl my dad has wanted to pay for my wedding. They are paying for about half, and I know that it kills him that he can’t do more. My parents were greatly effected by the recession although my dad doesn’t want to admit how much. I think I would severely hurt his feelings and his pride if I refused their help. It won’t put them into debt but it’s not like they have a lot of money to spare either. I know that it is something that they desperately want to do and I am extremely grateful because I honestly wasn’t expecting it.

Post # 15
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

WHy don’t you take out a loan and pay for it yourself?

Post # 16
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Totally felt this way when my parents offered, but there really wasn’t any other choice. I wanted to elope and my mom knew it so I think the offer was as much to prevent that as anything.

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