- 8 years ago
I just really needed to write today, it’s been a rough morning.
Last night we celebrated our 4 year anniversary, it was very nice. SO had made a huge dinner and had flowers waiting for me when I got home from work!
We’ve been working non-stop and so we’re doing our gift exchange later this week, when we’re both off.
He got me a promise ring back around our 1yr anniversary, it doesn’t fit me anymore.
He ordered me a new ring for this anniversary. I get it later this week.
I know it’s the thought that counts, and I don’t want to sound like a terrible person, but I almost feel kinda insulted. Getting another ‘promise’ ring after 4 years together… it just hurts. Hurts would be the perfect description, actually.
I honestly don’t think I could emotionally handle wearing it on my left ring finger, with all the questioning I already get not even wearing a ring… I can only imagine it getting worse if I’m suddenly sporting a ring on my left finger. I could try my best, but I can’t deny that it would probably break my heart any time I have to say “no, it’s not an engagement ring.” I went through that with the other ring I had, just before the 3 year mark when I was starting to feel ready to move forward. Now I can only imagine the feeling would be way worse.
But I think my SO would feel bad if I wore it on my right ring finger. So I don’t know what to do… and I know he’s going to see I’m out of sorts, so if he asks if I’m okay, I honestly think I’d break down and cry.
Even last night, even though I was in a great mood and enjoying myself, we were watching tv and he just looked at me and asked if I was disappointed. I was like what?! not at all! … so I wonder if he thinks that I thought he might propose.
Do you guys have any suggestions as to how I could make these feelings go away and just enjoy my new ring? haha