(Closed) I Feel bad – but I had an AWFUL guest experience!

posted 8 years ago in Beehive
  • poll: What should I do? (Select all that apply)
    Write a really nasty letter to the Caterer : (66 votes)
    22 %
    Make sure every coordinator I know finds out about how bad they were : (80 votes)
    27 %
    Tell your friends the truth about why you won't be using them : (82 votes)
    28 %
    Sugarcoat : (19 votes)
    6 %
    Fib: "Mom made me go with someone else" : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Tell the friends they need to demand a refund of at least 24 people : (39 votes)
    13 %
    Other: Explained below : (5 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    617 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Wowwwww. I would def write a letter to complain, but I don’t know if I would take it upon myself to demand the bride and groom’s money back. I do, however, think it’s important for the bride and groom to know because they paid for that food, and it was not there. If I were in that position (the bride), I would want to know because, that is absolutely unacceptable, and I would want to take action. I’ve been to about 12-15 weddings and all but one (because they were grilling chicken and the propane tank exploded and all of the chicken landed on the ground!!!!!) had more than enough food, with plenty leftover.

    Post # 4
    99 posts
    Worker bee

    I would definitely let them know what’s up. I would be PISSED if that happened to me on my wedding day.  Definitely write a letter AND tell all your contacts not to use them!! How awful!

    Post # 5
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    While I agree that this situation needs to be handled, I do not think it is your place to do so. I think you need to subtly speak to the bride and groom and let them know that not everyone was fed then they can decide how they would like to handle the situation.

     I think the best way to handle this is not to for lack of better words “crap” all over their reception and make them feel bad about it. Imagine if it were your wedding and this happened and you thought you had this great party and them someone comes along and kills your perfect party. It would be heartbreaking. I think you should just move on and just make sure you don’t let that happen at your own wedding. If they ask you if you are going to use the company you can just tell them no that you are going in another direction.

    Sorry this is so long, I just want you to think about how you would feel if it were your wedding.

    Post # 7
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If she brings it up tell her, but I would tell her the minimum and change the subject. 

    I just noticed we are date twins…. we are getting so close.

    Post # 8
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I feel so bad for you, and for the bride and groom.  Wow.  What an awful experience.  I wonder what happened?  Too many people not rsvp and show up or something?

    You never know.  This very thing happened on the show “4 Weddings” where the other 3 brides had to resort to eating crackers one of the brides had stashed in her purse.

    This is making me glad we’re having a dinner reception.  I would absolutely lose it if this happened at my wedding!

    I’d contact the caterer and directly address this.  I’d also nicely bring this up with the wedding couple when the opportunity was given but also break it to them very very gently as I am sure too, they had no idea this happened.  Very unprofessional of the caterer.

    Post # 9
    11 posts
    • Wedding: March 2011

    That sounds AWFUL! Wow, I’m so sorry that this happened. Could that waitstaff be ruder, by the way? Ugh.

    I would tell your friend the truth, if only because I think you should encourage her to demand a refund and get some money back. I know I’d want to be informed of this sort of thing, even if it would be crappy to hear about.

    And yes, write a letter and tell EVERYONE you know that this caterer was a joke. I’m sure your poor friend wasn’t the first to receive such bad service, but maybe you can help make it one of the last times it happens. They need to get their act together or not be in the business at all.

    Post # 10
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think I would leave out the part about you feeling sick because of not eating.  I totally understand, but I would try to stick the facts with the bride and the caterer.  

    You need to tell the bride about the situation (I’m sure she may already know) but again, make sure you stress you had a great time (even if you didn’t really).  You don’t want her to feel bad about her wedding.  There is nothing that can be changed now. 

    I would write a letter to the caterer on your own behalf stating you recently attending a wedding (unnamed) where they ran out of food and you were not pleased with the attitudes of the wait staff.  Because of that you will not be using them for your own wedding.  I would leave out asking for money back for the B&G and again, just stick to the facts.  You may want to tell the bride you intend to write the letter and offer to let her proof read it before sending.  If she is pursing a refund of her money, etc you wouldn’t want to mess with her battle.  


    Post # 11
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I posted this in the duplicate thread but heres my advice:


    I wouldn’t say anything. The situation really sucks, but your friends would be mortified if they knew what happened, and bringing it up to them isn’t going to change the fact that some of their guests went home hungry– its only going to make them feel awful.

    I think you’re wise to let this affect whether you book the company on your own, but please don’t bring it up to the bride and groom. It won’t change a thing, it will make them stress out and obsess, and it will make you look ungrateful. I’d just suck it up, and remember the name of the company for future reference. Oh,and don’t write them a letter demanding a refund for your friends, that’s not your battle to fight.

    Post # 12
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Wow. Obviously a bummer of an evening and not a good situation health-wise for you.

    That said, I don’t think it’s your place to handle things with the caterer on your friends behalf or give your friend the full run down of every one of the shortcomings in her wedding. Everyone knows that there are things that will go wrong the day of the wedding and honestly, I feel like it’s everyone else’s responsibility to shield the B&G from it. She’s been working her a- off for MONTHS on this one day and the fact is that it’s over now and there’s absolutely nothing that can be changed.

    Learn from her experience… don’t use her caterer and when your friend asks you what you thought you should wrack your brain for every single good thing you can possibly come up with about that day. Was that the best damn pinwheel you’ve ever eaten? How about the ceremony? How was her dress? Her hair? Their first dance?

    Yes, it was a bad evening for you, but don’t make her insecure by letting her think everyone had a horrible time at her reception.

    No matter how much you plan, there will be hiccups on your day, too, so think about how you would feel if someone outlined those mishaps for you?

    Post # 13
    435 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t say anything to the bride and groom, but didn’t you say the father of the bride noticed there wasn’t enough food?  If he in fact paid maybe he is the one you should let know if you have a relationship with him.

    Post # 14
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i think that if she asks about it then you can tell her but i wouldnt bring it up to her out of the blue. thats horrible by the way. and one of the reasons im NOT doing buffet for my reception.

    Post # 16
    522 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Wow, that’s HORRIBLE. I’d want to know if that happened at my wedding.

    The topic ‘I Feel bad – but I had an AWFUL guest experience!’ is closed to new replies.

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