(Closed) I feel bad- I bought a bedroom set at an auction and now hubby is upset

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
366 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, I would sell it. That sounds a little irresponsible and I really don’t mean to make you feel bad, but I wouldnt make a purchase without specifying how much it would be first. I see how it’s easy to get carried away like that, but I also see why your hubby is upset.

Post # 4
4258 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I think you shpould wait a few days and let your Darling Husband catch up with the purchase.  He may gain some perspective and come to agree it was a steal.   I guess $2600 is a little *crazy*, but if I did this, or my Darling Husband did this, we would prob just say WHAT?!?!? and then spend nothing on extras for the next few months to make up for it.  And in the furure, he would give me a hard time as a joke, lol.  I honestly don’t think what you did was THAT bad.  You said sorry, and as long as you can still afford your bills, you can resave that money.  Now you have a king size bed… make it up to him in bed.

Post # 5
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

holamarcia:  I agree with the sentiment here, but i don’t really see the point in selling it if you plan to buy all of this stuff soon (or eventually) anyway. But unless you two are super wealthy, I feel like $2600 is a lot to spend without expressly discussing it first. How would you feel if he spent that much without clearing it with you first? You’d probably be kind of pissed – so I think he’s owed this. 

What are you going to do with your current furniture? Can you sell some of that to recoup some of the cost at least?

Post # 7
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Darling Husband bought a JEEP at auction while I was away on business. He texted to say he was going to the auction. I told him to have fun. He texted to ask how Id feel about a Grand Cherokee, but I didn’t reply (I was in a meeting in PST, he was at the auction in EST). I got back to my phone to see a black grand Cherokee that we owned…

We already have a Land Rover and a sports car, along with my company car (a stinkin Cherokee!) so needless to say, I was less than thrilled. I needed some time to adjust, and by the time I got  home from the west coast, I was fine with it.

He and a buddy traded in their Monday-Friday business suits for wrenches and worked on it in the evenings for a week. Ultimately Darling Husband decided it wasn’t something we needed (without any negativity from me), so he decided to take it back to the auction and sell it. He made $1500 more than he bought it for, for a few hours of elbow grease under the hood. It all worked out!

Bottom line – give him time to adjust. If he does, great! You got a deal. If he doesn’t, sell it. It’ll all be fine. 

Post # 8
2261 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should try to find a way to recoup that money in way its kinda like you’re taking the responsibility for spending that money so quickly.

I would probably save the set that you bought (cause honestly thats a crazy great deal), sell what you don’t need, maybe see if you can freelance any other skills for a little bit and just truly apologize to your Darling Husband and hopefully he’ll be as gracious as you’ve been to him in the past for his mistakes.

Post # 9
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Not to be punny but you both need to sleep on it before you make a decision. We all make mistakes. All you can do is learn from it for the future 

Post # 10
6630 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

stefano101:  Give him some time to process.  It sounds like you got the bed set and mattress for just over a quarter of the price it would normally be.  If it’s as good as you say, he’ll probably get used to the idea – it’s something you’d have to do eventually anyway. We’ve been looking at china hutches and dang that stuff is ridiculously highly priced.  Has he looked at buying furniture before?  Would a little perspective on it help?  He gave you tacit permission and you went a bit over his expectations.  Again, buying the real thing later will cost a hell of a lot more. I don’t think saying it’s your fault and selling it is a good idea. In the end you’re still going to have to purchase furniture.  Why not now?

Stop feeling guilty unless you can see it’s constantly eating at him.  I’m willing to bet he’ll get over it pretty quickly.

Post # 11
4242 posts
Honey bee

Well, I dont think this is too outrageous- I assume you can afford it and you called him before. Unless he told you “don’t spend more than X amount”, I don’t see how he can be that mad- I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. 

Post # 12
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Is $2600 a large amount to spend without conferring with your husband? Yes. But you did let him know you were eyeing it, at an auction, and he gave tacit approval with the “Just don’t go too crazy.” So I guess you guys just had different opinions of “crazy.”

My first thought was, well what was he thinking a brand new 9-piece king bedroom set was going to cost? Under $1000? Is he someone who’s always bought his shit at IKEA? I’m being serious, not snide. He may have no frame of reference for what good quality furniture costs (or even other categories of goods, for that matter).

If this expenditure isn’t going to put you in debt or derail your honeymoon, I say don’t sell the stuff. This might be a different situation if you hadn’t given him any heads up whatsoever. But you did, and he responded with a green light, subject to you exercising your judgment. As it turns out, he disagrees in hindsight with your judgment. Oh well, lesson learned for both of you.

Post # 13
8099 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

stefano101:  if he didn’t give you a price limit you shouldn’t feel guilty over a misunderstanding. That said, if you’re saving for a house that means you don’t know where this furniture is going to end up long term – do you really want to be limited to houses that can fit a 9 piece king sized bedroom set?

Post # 14
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

any pics?

Post # 15
2507 posts
Sugar bee

stefano101:  I don’t think you should feel guilty. The miscommunication was on BOTH of your parts. He said don’t go crazy – but didn’t say what that means. You didn’t think you went crazy, and he does. Neither of you were clear with the other (at best – honestly I think HE has morr blame here, but I’ll be generous). Is $2600 a lot? Yes. But it’s also not $26,000. You didn’t buy a car – or really, anything frivolous. You bought things you NEED with his OK. Maybe he should have been clearer about the limits of his ok, and maybe you should have asked…but you definjey aren’t to “blame” and I don’t think you should feel bad. 

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