Post # 1
I live in Manhattan and I’m having a Manhattan wedding – so please keep in mind that vendors are relatively more expensive here. My fiance and I are paying for most of the wedding, so I can’t afford to pay for my BM’s hair and make-up. The people I’ve chosen to do my hair and makeup are not cheap – $100-$125 per service. I have told my BMs that it makes no difference to me whatsoever whether they opt to have their hair and/or makeup professionally done. (It really doesn’t.) They have all said that they would like to do both. But I still feel guilty that I haven’t found someone cheaper for them. The thing is, I loved the way my hair and makeup looked at these trials.
I do know of a cheaper vendor who did hair/makeup at my MOH’s wedding – but I didn’t think they were so great. When I told my Maid/Matron of Honor how much hair/makeup would cost at my wedding – if she so chose – her response was “So it will be $225? How much did it cost at my wedding?” I’m pretty sure she knew hers was cheaper when she asked that question. None of the other BMs commented on the cost. I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man many times, and I know that you spend a lot of money as one. But I feel weird asking them to spend so much when I know they’re spending lots on other things – like the shower, bachelorette, etc. Wait a minute – I’m not asking them! They can do whatever they want. I don’t know why I’m obsessing about this. What do you think?
Post # 3
Expensive? Yes. However, you told them it wasn’t necessary. They could’ve gone somewhere else if they wanted to, which I think is very reasonable of you. Don’t feel obligated to go with someone else — you need to look how you want to look. You didn’t force anyone to say yes, and I think that’s the end of it!
Post # 4
You’re fine! I didn’t pay to get my girls hair done. They were welcome to get it done if they wanted to but I just couldn’t afford it and I really didn’t care how their hair looked. My sister, Maid/Matron of Honor, decided to get hers done but the other girls did it themselves. Don’t stress about it.
Post # 5
My gift to my BM’s is their makeup and hair. But I am only spending about $100 for each BM and I only have 2 adult BM’s, 2 JR BM’s and a flower girl. The kids are considerably cheaper ($50).
I think since you aren’t requiring it, it is perfectly ok to expect them to pay their own. But if you wanted to, maybe you could gift the hair or the makeup as their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift?
Post # 7
It is expensive, but I think its fine since you gave them the option of not having it done professionally. I don’t think the “how much was it at my wedding?” comment was unnecessary, but I would maybe just stress to them again that it is okay not to have it done by a professional.
Post # 8
I agree with dreamhazer if any of the Bridesmaid or Best Man have issues with the cost they can either do their hair themselves or get it done else where I would not feel guilty about this..
Post # 9
You’re not requiring that they get their hair and make up done by your professional, so you are fine. They can choose to go elsewhere or choose to do their own. I wouldn’t feel badly if I was your bridesmaid, and you shouldn’t either.
Post # 10
Well, I’m paying for the dresses for my bridesmaids, so I’m not covering hair/makeup. It’s not required though, I’m just having the option available if they so choose. If you haven’t already purchased gifts for them, it might be worth asking if they would rather have hair/makeup covered instead. That’s how I ended up paying for the bridesmaid dresses – I asked them if they’d rather have a nice piece of jewelry or the dress paid for, and they all said the same thing – we’ve got lots of jewelry, we’d rather have the free dress. Your girls might feel the same about hair/makeup.
Post # 11
I’m having my hair and makeup done and I left it up to my bridesmaids as to whether or not they wanted theirs done. They can use my person, or do their own. It’s not as expensive as yours, but I can’t afford to pay for theirs either which is why I told them they definitely don’t have to get it.
As long as you aren’t requiring them to get their makeup done, you’re under no obligation to pay for it.
Post # 12
Thanks, all. This makes me feel a lot better.
@mtbikelover: I have thought about that as a possibility, but I have 7 bridesmaids, so I would only be able to put about $100 towards each. I don’t know if it’s weird to partially pay for something as a gift.
Post # 13
Why don’t you just say that you are paying for everyone to get their hair done and then leave the makeup up to them? Or vice versa.
Post # 14
I think you don’t need to worry about it. You gave them all an out, and you were sincere about it. If they choose to get their hair and makeup done, it’s because they have accepted the price tags that comes with it. I wouldn’t sweat it too much — this shouldn’t even be on your worry radar. 🙂
Post # 15
I wouldn’t worry about it. I didn’t pay for my girls hair or makeup but I also said they could do it themselves or get ti done at the place of their choice.
Post # 16
@shrinkgirl you didnt ask them to. you gave them the option.
also, if you allowed them to go elsewhere to get their hair done, even better. you didnt force them to get it done at X place and make them pay for it. theres a big difference, IMO