(Closed) I feel guilty – is this wrong?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Expensive? Yes. However, you told them it wasn’t necessary. They could’ve gone somewhere else if they wanted to, which I think is very reasonable of you. Don’t feel obligated to go with someone else — you need to look how you want to look. You didn’t force anyone to say yes, and I think that’s the end of it!

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re fine! I didn’t pay to get my girls hair done. They were welcome to get it done if they wanted to but I just couldn’t afford it and I really didn’t care how their hair looked. My sister, Maid/Matron of Honor, decided to get hers done but the other girls did it themselves. Don’t stress about it.

Post # 5
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My gift to my BM’s is their makeup and hair.  But I am only spending about $100 for each BM and I only have 2 adult BM’s, 2 JR BM’s and a flower girl.  The kids are considerably cheaper ($50).

I think since you aren’t requiring it, it is perfectly ok to expect them to pay their own.  But if you wanted to, maybe you could gift the hair or the makeup as their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift?

Post # 7
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It is expensive, but I think its fine since you gave them the option of not having it done professionally. I don’t think the “how much was it at my wedding?” comment was unnecessary, but I would maybe just stress to them again that it is okay not to have it done by a professional.

 

Post # 8
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with dreamhazer if any of the Bridesmaid or Best Man have issues with the cost they can either do their hair themselves or get it done else where I would not feel guilty about this..

Post # 9
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You’re not requiring that they get their hair and make up done by your professional, so you are fine. They can choose to go elsewhere or choose to do their own. I wouldn’t feel badly if I was your bridesmaid, and you shouldn’t either.

Post # 10
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well, I’m paying for the dresses for my bridesmaids, so I’m not covering hair/makeup.  It’s not required though, I’m just having the option available if they so choose.   If you haven’t already purchased gifts for them, it might be worth asking if they would rather have hair/makeup covered instead.  That’s how I ended up paying for the bridesmaid dresses – I asked them if they’d rather have a nice piece of jewelry or the dress paid for, and they all said the same thing – we’ve got lots of jewelry, we’d rather have the free dress.   Your girls might feel the same about hair/makeup.

Post # 11
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m having my hair and makeup done and I left it up to my bridesmaids as to whether or not they wanted theirs done. They can use my person, or do their own. It’s not as expensive as yours, but I can’t afford to pay for theirs either which is why I told them they definitely don’t have to get it.

As long as you aren’t requiring them to get their makeup done, you’re under no obligation to pay for it.

Post # 13
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@shrinkgirl:  Why don’t you just say that you are paying for everyone to get their hair done and then leave the makeup up to them?  Or vice versa. 

Post # 14
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you don’t need to worry about it.  You gave them all an out, and you were sincere about it.  If they choose to get their hair and makeup done, it’s because they have accepted the price tags that comes with it.  I wouldn’t sweat it too much — this shouldn’t even be on your worry radar.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it. I didn’t pay for my girls hair or makeup but I also said they could do it themselves or get ti done at the place of their choice.

Post # 16
Member
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@shrinkgirl:  you didnt ask them to. you gave them the option.

also, if you allowed them to go elsewhere to get their hair done, even better. you didnt force them to get it done at X place and make them pay for it. theres a big difference, IMO

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