(Closed) I feel hijacked by a pregnant friend

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry but I think you’re overreacting.  It’s just a picture.

Post # 19
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Ari214:  I didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s just that when you have a group of people together they like to keep up on the news, and a pregnant belly is sort of the most obvious topic.

I didn’t know she was having a party later this week that you’re hosting – in that case, I do agree with you that she could have been a little more respectful.

If her friendship bothers you so much, maybe you should think about phasing her out a bit? It’s not the easiest thing but may do wonders for your happiness, since it sounds like she tries to trick you into competing with her frequently.

Post # 21
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

Having just come off a wedding, I gotta say, I think too much emphasis is put on the bride.  You’ll get to be in the center of your wedding photos.  I don’t really understand why weddings have turned into these multi-event marathons.  As a bridesmaid, I attended seven events where the couple/bride was centered in photos.  It felt like for a year and a half every time I saw my friends it was all about the happy couple.  I’m not saying you’ve overdone the lead-up, but try to remember the photos that count are the ones on your wedding day.  The rest should be just for fun.

Post # 22
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think you are overreacting. It is a picture, I am sure you look happy and surrounded by your friends. It sounds like this is a much bigger level than the picture though, maybe the two of you need some time apart after her party.

Post # 23
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@whoa_its_ash:  +1. It is a gathering of friends and no event is more important than the other. I really don’t even see an issue.

Post # 25
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ari214:  I think I understand where you’re coming from. This is like the straw that broke the camel’s back for you. From what you’re saying, it sounds like she does this a lot, and this time when it should have been your picture, at your party, she managed to make it about her & her belly. Rude. 

However, as much as you feel ‘cheated’, pretend it didn’t happen. Clearly she needs to be made the center of attention because she doesn’t get enough of it elsewhere. Let her have her moment & smile and be happy for her belly. It won’t last forever. 

Ignoring someone is the worst thing you can do to them. When her sh:t just doesn’t phase you, she’ll see that very quickly. 

Post # 26
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I would give her a copy of the picture and he like, ‘here i thought you might want this picture of yourself. you can’t tell, but it’s from my baby shower.’ LOL. maybe she’ll get a hint. 

there will always be ppl like this, as a PP said about her SIL announcing pregnancy at her engagement party. how rude! this is the 2nd time i’ve referenced a Friends episode lately (yeah i’m so cool and hip), but there’s one where rachel and monica are fighting and monica’s like ‘and when you announce you’re getting engaged, i’ll announce i’m pregnant!” this is a known shitty way to act, and unfortunately kinda common. so my point is your friend’s not only lame but a total cliche. could she BE anymore insecure?? (hahahaha)

Post # 27
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Ari214:  Why didn’t you have her move?  Or take a second one with you in the middle?

Post # 29
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think it’s ridiculous that you feel this way. Pregnant people stand out, no matter whether they’re in the middle of a photo or on the side. It’s not like she’s deliberately stealing your spotlight by flaunting her pregnancy… you’re way overreacting!!

Post # 30
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee

@Swizzle:  That’s horrible. People can be so self-centered they don’t even think of other people’s feelings. That reminds me of when I was being dumped by my ex (I was 18 maybe) and was crying alone in the hall, my *friend* asked me what was going on, so I told her my ex just dumped me 5 minutes ago, and she smiled and said ”ahhh I understand, I just had a miscarriage”. Yep. That happened.

Or, my friend was feeling bad in high school. Her friend asks her what’s wrong ? ”My sister had a bad accident and is in the hospital” (turned out she died a day later…), her friend answered she had a bad day too because she had diarrhea. 

I can’t believe these people exist. 

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