Post # 1
So my wedding was planned for July 17th, 2010. A little over a month ago my father went the hospital, long story short, they told us that he had advanced cancer and we could only expect to have two more weeks with him or at the most a month.
Naturally we did a lot of freaking out, crying, barging with god/devil/whoever would listen. Once we had kind of pulled ourselves together we decided that we wanted to move the wedding up ASAP.
I changed everything and we had the wedding at our family plantation giving up my dream of having a starlit gala on the chesapeake bay. A quarter of the guests were able to make it on such short notice. We had to cater it ourselves because we couldn’t find one in time. We did the flowers ourselves and a friend too the photos. A far cry from the international photographer we had planned to fly in from CA. We didn’t even have a band or DJ and I didn’t have the wedding dress I ordered because it wouldn’t be done in time. Instead I wore a jcrew dress that was not even close to what I wanted or even fit correctly but they would over night the dress so that is what I had to go with.
Come to find out they had given us a bad diagnosis on the type of Leukemia my father has. It is not only no where near as severe as what they had told us but it can be easily managed with drugs. Those incompetent @ss monkeys! They took years off of my life worrying about my father and the RUINED my wedding.
What should I do? What should I feel? I am being a spoiled brat?
Post # 3
Wow that’s so stressful! Maybe you can have a big reception with everyone to celebrate your marriage and the good news? Did you cancel everything for the July wedding?
Post # 4
Ask yourself, would you still regret the “emergency” wedding if your dad’s Leukemia was as bad as the doctors first thought and he passed away before your “planned” wedding?
Post # 5
That is insane. I supposed you should feel totally relieved that your dad is OK, and I’m sure you do…but jeez that is a lot to put a family through, and then on top of that you having to completely scramble to redo your wedding! I’m glad your dad is ok but sorry you are in this situation. I’m with Miss AsB, can you still have the reception in July?
Post # 6
thats horrible (the bad diagnosis by the doctors)… and i can understand how you would be upset about your wedding now knowing that your father is actually going to be alive for the time that you had planned. Is there anyway you would consider a second wedding?
Post # 7
yeah… maybe not a ‘second wedding’ as i said but more of a reception with the dress that you wanted and photographer?
Post # 8
It does suck to not be able to have your “dream” wedding. I understand that. I’m basically planning your “ruined” wedding… with a friend photographer, DIY flowers, a tiny guestlist, $300 dress, etc… And sometimes reconciling your dream with reality is tough. But…you were able to marry the person of your dreams while with your family. And you have more time with your father! I guess I’m missing what makes that so horrible.
Post # 9
Just wanted to add I didn’t mean to sound rude in my first comment! I really do feel bad for your unfortunate situation 🙁
Post # 10
“second” wedding just feels wrong. And it makes me feel like more of a lousy person that everyone worked so hard to get the first wedding off the ground. Besides there just isn’t cash for another wedding since we paid for everything ourselves and just bought a house.
Post # 11
I’m glad that you got to celebrate your wedding and have your dad there. 🙂
(My husband’s mother, missed our wedding (due to cancer ) by three weeks.
My mother missed my daughter’s wedding (due to cancer) by 1 month to the day.)
Can you have a reception with everyone you invited on your original day?
Post # 12
What a traumatic situation. I am so sorry you and your family went through this! Thank goodness that your father is going to be ok, and I know it must be so difficult and confusing going from saying goodbye to him to realizing he’s alright. Ugh. And I’m sorry you celebrated your wedding under the heartbreaking impression that your father was terminally ill. My dad died of cancer 12 years ago, and I understand that this is absolutely debilitating news.
You and your family deserve a huge celebration both for your wedding and your father’s health. You deserve to celebrate your wedding with uncompromised joyfulness. Have you considered throwing another wedding reception that honors your dad in some way? You certainly are not a spoiled brat for wanting to celebrate again.
Again, I am so sorry you went through this, but I am so glad for you and your family, both in your recent wedding and the good news of your father’s diagnosis.
Post # 13
I think as much as it was an emotional roller coaster you just have to move on.
Post # 14
I am so sorry for all this. It sounds like you are kinda out of luck if you don’t have any money left over to plan another big event.
What about doing a 1 year anniversary type of thing? You could also do it as a 1 year celebration of your dad beating cancer?
Post # 15
Well Thank God your dad will be ok! That is such a relief! And I am so sorry that you didn’t get to have your dream wedding! You could always have a reception or just call it a party to celebrate! I am so happy your dad will be ok 🙂
Post # 16
I’m truly sorry that you and your family had to go through such a traumatic event as you did with the the wrong diagnosis. That must have been heart wrenching.
As far as the emergency wedding…I just don’t see the issue. You were acting on the info you had at the time and I think you absolutely made the right decision. It’s time to let go of the dream dress, international photographer and ideal locale.
I would make any sacrifice at all if it meant my father could walk me down the aisle at our wedding this October. It’ll be a little over a week before the the two year anniversary of his death.