- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I post in the forums here a lot, and seem to be having a little dilemma of my own. My Darling Husband hasn’t said anything to make me think this, but I do feel like I’ve been a crappy wife. Even though we dated for a while & lived together before we got maried, we still went through a lot of changes after our wedding. We got married in my hometown, and we moved several states away just 10 days after our wedding. We had to stay in a hotel for a little bit when we first got here, then lived with my Father-In-Law for a few more weeks. Finally, we got into our house and have been living here now for a few months. We seemed to deal with all of that just fine.
Of course we’ve both had to start different jobs, he started his right away, and I’ve been working at my current job since January. I’m not too happy with my job, but I have an interview coming up, so a change is (hopefully) in the works for me. He’s been doing great with his job, though.
I have overall just been in this sort of ‘funk’ since we’ve been here. Sadly, I haven’t really made any friends here yet, and I think that’s a part of my problem. While I have Darling Husband here, I don’t really have anyone else, and it gets sooooo lonely. 🙁 I know it’s a temporary thing that will hopefully change soon, but I think that just makes it harder being here. I’m also really conflicted because I will have one week off this year, and it’s in a couple of months. I miss my family and friends and want to go home and visit, but Darling Husband & I haven’t gone on our honeymoon yet either. So I am having to decide what to do with that week, and as bad as I want to go somewhere with Darling Husband and have our honeymoon, I miss my family and will feel so guilty if I don’t go visit them. On the flip side, they could always come and visit me, too.
I feel like I’m typing a novel here, but I have also been having problems since coming off of my birth control a few months ago. I was on the pill for 7 years, and I’m starting to think it really screwed with my body. My periods have been really irregular, I lost my sex drive while I was on them – and it hasn’t come back at all. Darling Husband doesn’t complain about any of this to me, he’s a really sweet guy that wouldn’t do that, but I know he would like to have sex more. Sometimes I think he takes it as me not being attracted to him, which is not true. I just don’t get the desire for it, and I think once you get in the habit of not being intimate, it is easier to just stay on that path. I don’t want it to be like that, though. I finally bought TCOYF today from Amazon, and I’m hoping that will help me at least have some insight to my body & my cycles as well.
I don’t know what I’m really looking for here bees, but any advice or input would be helpful! I love my Darling Husband and want to be the best I can be for him, he deserves it.