(Closed) I feel like a HORRIBLE person!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

you are not horrible! i think its only natural to have those thoughts and to wish one way or the other.

My mom had 3 girls in a row and my dad wished for a boy..he didnt have to wait long – my mom was pregnant with my brother when i was just barely 6 weeks old.

10 fingers, 10 toes, healthy baby, that is all that matters.

Post # 4
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sadly, I’m not a mom yet. So I really can only guess what you’re feeling. But I do know wanting your husband’s happiness is actually very admirable and selfless and do not beat yourself up.

Post # 5
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

haha don’t feel bad, it’s normal to want something you don’t have. It’s also normal to want to give your husband what he wants.

My mom had 5 girls. Yes, 5! she hoped it was a boy after the first 3 girls, but nope girls everytime. My dad was disappointed before we were born, but once he held us he was sold. HE ADORED ALL OF US!

My mom and dad divorced and my dad remarried and his new wife got pregnant and HAD A GIRL! lol My dad to this day laughs about it, but also says he couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Don’t worry he can do everything with her as he could do with a boy.  That’s how my dad raised us and we learned how to fish, build things, play baseball etc…. We are daddy’s girls and he did everything he said he wanted to do if he had a boy and it was no different. We had a good time growing up!

Lucky you, you are going to have a healthy baby! What more could you ask for!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am not pregnant yet, but I would like a boy first when we do start TTC.  My husband is also a little afraid to have a baby girl.  lol!

Will you be disappointed if you find out you’re having a girl?  Possibly.  Will you give a darn about the gender of the baby when she’s placed in your arms?  I’ll bet not.  

Post # 7
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I bet far more people feel this way than would ever admit publicly!! Don’t feel bad, all you can do is hope it works out the way you want – and if it doesn’t you won’t have any choice but to love that baby once you meet her anyways ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My parents really wanted ME to be a boy, so I understand completely! And honestly I would prefer to have a boy at least as my first born because I think little girls are kind of evil AND my Darling Husband would probably do a lot more work because of the whole father/son bonding thing so it would ease me into becoming a Mom. But, since we can’t choose I am also just going to be happy with whatever we end up having ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

After the tech told us it was a girl I was pissed. I cried all the way home. I wanted a boy so badly. Darling Husband still says “he” instead of “she.” It took a while for me to get over. It’s natural to want a “big brother” for any future siblings I think.

Post # 10
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t feel bad.  What you’re feeling is natural.  You want a boy, but of course you know there’s a 50/50 chance!

If it makes you feel better, I have an elderly neighbor who has 5 sons.  Her sons were born before ultrasounds and all that.  They just had to wait until the baby was born to find out the sex of the baby.  Anyway, her husband loves to tell the story that they tried 5 times to have a girl.  Bob says when the 5th and last child was born and the doctor announced “It’s a boy!” his wife burst into tears and became emotionally distraught.  So, compared to this woman having a tantrum at the birth of her 5th son, what you’re feeling is nothing!  

Post # 11
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

There’s absolutely NOTHING WRONG with you feeling that way.  I too have two daughter and Fiance has mentioned more than once that he wants to try for a boy.  Personally I don’t want to chance having another girl so having a baby is currently out of the picture.  I’m not negotiating because we can’t be sure of the outcome. I wish you guys the best of luck and try not to be so hard on yourself. 

Post # 12
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I feel the same way – we aren’t pregnant yet, but have already had this chat. Darling Husband really wants a boy and I really want a girl. I told Darling Husband that I would definitely want to find out if we’re having a boy or girl beforehand so I can wrap my head around it before there’s another little person in our lives. I had a great relationship with my mom when I was growing up, and I want to have that with my daughter. So, I’d probably be disappointed at first with a boy just because I wouldn’t have that same experience right away, but again healthy baby is #1.

Post # 13
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Definately do not feel bad, we are having a boy and I wanted a girl!  I was a little disappointed for about a week but now I am okay and happy we are having a boy.

Post # 14
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh, you are not a terrible person!  I think it’s totally normal to have a gender preference.  The good news is, most people fall in love the second that baby is born, regardless of what they had hoped for. 

I thought my husband would be disappointed if we had a girl (we were team green and he was convinced our daughter was a boy), but he literally fell head over heels the moment she was born.  Even now, he’s the absolute best daddy to our little girl, and he says, hands down, he wouldn’t trade her in for anything.

Post # 15
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I was disappointed when I found out the gender too.  I always imagined having a boy first, maybe because that’s what I know, it’s what I grew up with.  I think about it every now and then and laugh at the fact that I was upset.  It’s true, you love them anyway.

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