(Closed) I feel like a HORRIBLE person!

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My husband wanted a boy so bad and I really wanted a girl. When we found out we were having a girl I felt so guilty that I got what I wanted and he didn’t. Honestly though, our daughter is 12 weeks old and neither of us ever think about wishing she was a boy at first.

Post # 18
Member
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Don’t feel bad.  I think it’s natural to have gender preferenced.  My dad wanted only girls and was admittedly disappointed when my brother was born, (before ultrasounds).  But I think he got over it in like 2 seconds.

Post # 19
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Don’t feel bad. This is SUCH a normal feeling.

I wanted a girl so badly that I was really afraid for the 20week scan. I knew that if it was a boy, I would be so dissapointed. I felt bad about wanting it SO badly.

I think this is just another case of “many people feel like this but people are often not really honest about these feelings”

SO many of us have felt this exact same way and it does NOT make you a bad mother.

Post # 20
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Haha, I always tell about our family friends who had two girls and tried one more time for a boy, and got TWIN girls.  Gave up, got snipped, got it REVERSED to try again for a boy, and got a girl again.  Sixth try they got the boy.

I think it’s totally natural to have a preference, or at least a preconceived notion of what your family might look like that’s hard to let go of.  It doesn’t make you a bad mom!

Post # 21
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We aren’t TTC yet but we both SOOOOOO want a boy but I think we are jinxing oursleves LOL. No matter what we will be happy either way. But can’t pretend we don’t have a preference.

Post # 22
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@SapphireSun: Haha, that reminds me of some of our family friends. Boy, boy…give it one more try, and they get boy/boy/girl! Triplets! At least that girl squeaked in there, because I’m sure they were done!

We’re not TTC yet, but Mr.ND and I both would like a girl first, but I’m sure we’ll be excited for whatever we get when it gets to that point. 

Post # 23
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

My SO and I don’t want kids but if we did happen to have one, he said he wanted a girl and I said I wanted a boy. So I would feel horrible if it came out either way. Either he would be disappointed or I would. But when you first see your new baby, you are going to love him or her no matter what. You two will know you created him or her TOGETHER and that is what will matter most.

Post # 25
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you’re just admitting what a lot of pregnant women think privately. I was thrilled when I found out about our son – I knew my husband wanted a boy and I always wanted an older brother.

I don’t think it in any way means you’re a bad person, I think desiring a certain gender in a certain order is just kind of an “in an ideal world” thing, because at the end of the day we’re just happy to have a healthy baby.

Post # 26
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

This is a completely normal reaction. Just because you were sad when you found out doesnt mean that you dont love your girls and wont love this one. Its raw emotion that came out and thats okay!! You are NOT a horrible person. Fiance was very sad that we had a boy he wanted a girl for some reason.. badly. He of course is fine now. It will work out perfectly.

Post # 28
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Don’t feel bad.  My husband said he would be disappointed with a girl and then later that night apologized to me over and over.  I told him not to worry about it.  I thought it was normal especially him being a guy.  Me, I didn’t care either way but he is getting his boy 🙂

Post # 29
Member
7849 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are having the girl that we both wanted, but I would honestly have been disappointed if it had turned out to be a boy.  You can’t help your feelings.

Post # 30
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

90% of the world wants a boy first.  its a lot of pressure.  Its good chances it will be a boy if the ultrasound tech said it looks like it.

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