Post # 1
I don’t know where else to post and honestly, I guess this is an emotional thing.
My cousin and his wife are having a reception at a club. My brother asked me if he could use my fiance’s I.D. to not get in but to stay after 11PM. My brother is 20 so I said sure when I shouldn’t have. I told him though to use that I.D. as a last resort but I was still nervous about it. My fiance came by and told me that if my brother uses the I.D and gets in the slightest trouble, I mean the smallest infraction then he(fiance) can get into trouble and possibly kicked out of the Army. So, I got scared and I said “Yeah but I told him to use me as a Plan B” but I was still nervous about it so I called up my mom to tell her I felt uneasy and she said that it was fine so I called up my brother and told him and he became short and although he said it was ok I know it isn’t. He said he wishes I told him sooner and I apologized for it, I do realize that is a impolite thing to do but then again I said “What? You couldn’t find anyone else out of all your friends you can’t find one I.D?” so I knew he wasn’t really looking around.
The thing is although I feel like an asshole for taking back my word, I also feel that since there is a lot running on my fiance being in the army I am somewhat justified. I also am kind of annoyed that my brother is taking this I.D. lightly and I don’t think he gets it. He doesn’t have the best track record when he drinks and hangs out with my cousin. If he was more responsible I would feel ok but I don’t.
I feel like a jerk.
Post # 3
You don’t want to mess with the armed services, get the ID back and tell your brother he’ll have to figure out another way. Don’t feel like a jerk, a few hours at one party is not worth your FI’s profession.
Post # 4
I think your brother was the jerk for putting you in a bad position asking you to use your FH’s ID.
You really should have discussed with your FH about your brother using his ID before you said anything.
It is a bad situation all around, but personally I would never, ever let someone else use my ID, so I see what your FH is saying. I am sure your brother will get over it.
Post # 5
Don’t feel like a jerk, your brother should know better and shouldn’t be angry with you for making sure your fiance doesn’t get kicked out of the army! He’s being an immature brat, and honestly, you shouldn’t have given him the ID in the first place if you knew he was irresponsible. I’m sure your brother can come up with another idea for what to do after the reception.
Post # 6
I never gave him the I.D. we were to meet up so I am relieved of that.
Post # 7
The only jerk thing you did in this situation was tell your brother he could borrow your fiance’s ID in the first place. Good for you telling him he no longer could. I have used me fair share of fakes and given mine to people too but I did it comfortably. Whether its wrong or right the poor decisions I made were my own. I would never offer up my FH’s or brothers ID to someone. Your brother needs to get over himself. You are being an adult and doing the responsible thing, good for you. Enjoying a party for a few more hours is no reason to risk your FH being kicked out of the army.
Post # 8
I say good for you in coming to your senses. Don’t feel like a jerk, its not your decision to make anyway. Your brother should have asked your FH is he wanted to use his ID. Tell your brother you don’t feel comfortable with it and he should ask your FH directly, I bet he’ll change his mind on using it.
Post # 9
Ahhh dont feel like a jerk! I understand why you do, as anyone would…but the feelisn arent necessary…I think your borther should never have put you in that position in the first place!!
Post # 10
@casteel_dream: Aww, I’m sorry you’re feeling so down about this. In all honesty, I’m happy that you made the right decision and let your brother know that it’s not a good idea to use your FI’s ID afterall. It’s very easy for something to sound harmless in the beginning and turn into a disastrous situation in the end. Your brother will get over it in due time. This is a situation that is simply not worth the consequences. Cheer up and know you did the right thing in protecting your future — God forbid something were to happen…
Post # 11
It’s better for you to feel like a jerk now than if something DID happen and your fiance got in trouble – I’m sure you’d feel a LOT worse then. I wouldn’t feel too bad about this. You are completely justified and I’m sure your brother will find another ID to use. He shouldn’t be taking advantage of you just because your his sister.
Post # 12
I think you did the right thing. No – you shouldn’t have said anything to your brother without discussing it with your Fiance, but everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is that your FI’s job and reputation within the army will not be jeopardized in the event that your brother and cousin get drunk and do something stupid. Your brother can find another ID if he really wants to, but honestly, he is 20 and not legal and if he can’t stay late because of that, he really can’t get upset about it! That is the law and that is the way it is. He can party all he wants when he turns 21. Don’t beat yourself up about this! He will most likely be able to find another ID to use and then he knows he can’t just take advantage of you whenever he feels like it.