(Closed) I feel like a terrible person….

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Sorry you feel down. :hugs:

Your turn will come ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t despere****

Post # 4
72 posts
Worker bee

@memo:  I feel ya girl!




For some friends I’m truly happy… just because I know their lives have ups and downs like me… and their relationships are great.



I try to find online guides how to not be jealous, how to be more confident,… nothing helps!!!! I found only one good that said try to be happy for them, say good things, think to yourself “I would be so happy if that happened to me”.. then you will truly be happy for them. If something bad happens to people, you will also genuinely feel bad as well. I guess it requires lots of practice. In general, try to stay away and when you have those conversations, think that you are gettinng married in your mind and how you will do the plqanning yourself. Think about the feeling you will have in your turn!


Post # 5
66 posts
Worker bee

Booo, yea I know that feel. Try to see the silver lining: planning with her is like practice for yours! You get to openly look at everything wedding with a great excuse. You can really get a sense for what you might like by seeing how she’s doing it. Just think of it as a real-life Say Yes to the Dress episode.

Good luck and stay positive, have faith in what you have!

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Ok, this is seriously long so sorry upfront!!

I was the Maid of Honor for my best friend a few years back,  Yes, it was difficult seeing as she was only with her Fiance for a few years, which was less than half the time as my SO and I(going on 10 years now).  And at first I was super down because I just wanted it to be me, not that I EVER told anyone that out loud!!  BUT, looking at it as a way to do some wedding recon was great and turned things around.  I looked at a few venues in the area, and honestly found out do’s and dont’s.  I was the MOA for my sister’s wedding the previous year so I got to compare things. 

I found out that I would really want to spend the night and next morning at a hotel with the girls.  I want hair and make-up at the hotel as opposed to a salon.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REMEMBER YOUR VIEL.  Spend a good amount of your budget on the DJ and the photographers, you really cant skimp there BELIEVE ME.  While in on the subject, if you want specific songs played and specific pictures taken SPEAK UP!  Make sure you make up/buy a bridal emergency kit.  Some things are not worth doing yourself. Honestly, how else would you get all of this first hand knowledge??? I got the opportunity to meet with TONs of vendors too!  I was silently making my own notes in my head.

Honestly, it taught me how to act when I am a bride-to-be.  I know how stressful it really is to be a MOA or even a bridesmaid…its tough!  And perhaps most importantly, seeing our friends and family getting married around us with myself so heavily involved in the planning process was good for my SO.  All of a sudden he was weighing in on what he would like some day, what he didn’t like and what not.  This was kind of a big thing…he saw that yes it can be a lot of work but will be worth it in the end.   

One more thing, think of this as if this will be your only or last time to EVER be a bridesmaid.  Somehow it really is a special thing to be in a bridal party, and you will be glad you didn’t take it for granted.     

Post # 8
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@memo:  I know, sometimes it is hard. Blah. I’m feeling crappy about the waiting right now too. I just want things to move along here! ๐Ÿ™

Post # 9
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@memo:  I just know that for me, I would want an experienced DJ for a few reasons.  At my sister’s wedding there really was no wedding planner.  She went with a DJ who more or less stepped up and kept everything rolling.  They were the ones who honestly had the timing for the whole ceremony and reception.  They even coordinated with all of the vendors the day of the wedding!  They kept everything running smoothly.  My sister or I didn’t have to worry at all about when anything would be happening, such as cake cutting, father daughter dance, garter toss, speeches…anything! The wedding would have been CRAZY for me without them, hands down.  Needless to say, I will 110% be going with this vendor for my future wedding! 

We also knew it would be difficult to get the people invited up there to dance, so the DJ she hired really was great at getting everyone up and dancing.  The consult with them was great, and they said we could leave song selection up to them or have control over every single song selection if that is what my sister wanted.  The DJ’s website has some good info…http://www.traxxentertainment.com/Wedding_Entertainment_Specialists.html

My best friend went with a dirrerent DJ, who had HORRIBLE song selection.  They played out of date music, that no one could really figure out how to dance to. They were seriously the cheesy DJ to a T!! It really started to ruin the whole mood, until we had a talk and asked them to play more music that we could dance to.  SO there is the good and the bad of a professional DJ….bam!

I recently went to my cousin’s wedding where a family friend was the DJ, and he did a great job.  The groom had very specific requests and was also not into popular music.  But the guests really didn’t need a push onto the dance floor.  The only critic I could say is that he could have used a few notes on how a wedding should flow.  All of the guests almost missed the first dance because we were all directed to the tables in another room!  We didn’t even know that the bride and groom had entered the reception…lol  Make sure her Future Brother-In-Law knows what the bride and groom want and has a written down list in order of how you want everything to go. 

I hope something up there helps!  It does feel good to know that when I am planning my own wedding…someday…..that I will already have some of my vendors picked out and decisions already made.  Just think, I won’t have to waste almost a whole month of weekends going to EVERY florist in town,  I will already know which florists are too expensive or not my style.

It seems that your friend is totally awesome by the way,taking your advice and giving you suggestions on your future wedding. You are very lucky ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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