(Closed) I feel like a terrible, selfish jerk

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mrsmay07:  Oh honey, Iam sorry about your MC, that must have been an awful situation to deal with and even more now that your friend just announced her third pregnancy.  I know this is easier said than done, especially coming from someone that has not been pregnant yet, your time to have your third little baby will come and you will continue to be the wonderful mother that you are to your other two kids.  It is hard to be happy for your friend because this MC just happened to you.  I don’t think you are selfish, you are just hurting and its okay to hurt.  Feel better and i will keep my FX for your and your Darling Husband. 

Post # 4
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Cut yourself a little slack. Please don’t give yourself the labels of selfish or jerk simply because you are still grieving.

Post # 5
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I told my best friend from High school that I was expecting (concieved in Dec, but MC in Jan)  She was super excited to tell me that she and her husband were ttc and she was in her TWW.  We were both excited to be pregnant together,  I had my MC before her TWW was over so it was hard for her to call me with the news that she was pregnant.  


I am sure that she has put herself in your shoes and knows how she would feel.  So she will understand… you take the time that you need. and with time it will be easier for you to be happy for her. 





Post # 6
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

You’re still grieving! Be nice to yourself, you’ll be happy for her eventually you just need some time.

Post # 8
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mrsmay07:  I just don’t get that you are upset with her specifically-you are sad and upset about a sucky situation. There is a giant difference. And it is really OK to be upset about the situation!

Post # 9
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can totally relate to this. I had my second miscarriage just before Christmas and Darling Husband and I have no children.

Last week my SIL who already has one child called to tell us her “exciting” news – she’s pregnant again. Darling Husband was on the phone with her luckily because I burst into tears and had to leave the room. I was really shocked by my own reaction…I wasn’t expecting that! I love kids and I love being an aunty. I felt like such a jerk because I just couldn’t get excited about my SIL’s pregnancy news. ๐Ÿ™

I took some time to think about it later once the tears had subsided. I came to the conclusion that it isn’t that I’m not happy for my SIL, it’s just that when I hear stories of other people getting pregnant easy and having problem-free pregnancies, it scares the &*$% out of me. It makes me feel defective and broken. How can other people just get pregnant and stay pregnant so easily? I think the way we are feeling (angry, jealous, etc.) is just part of the grieving process.

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