(Closed) I feel like a total witch-with-a-b……. :(

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Am I horrible? And what should I do, if anything?
    Yep, yer a bitch! : (24 votes)
    9 %
    No I'd feel the same way. : (73 votes)
    26 %
    I'd have told him straight up! : (15 votes)
    5 %
    Keep your mouth shut and try to get over it : (34 votes)
    12 %
    Gently tell him now : (129 votes)
    47 %
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I didn’t vote, but I did want to say that I’m shocked that he got you a sim without even talking about it to you first. If you’re not happy with it you need to be honest with him and let him know that while the ring is beautiful, you would have appreciated it if he had asked your opinion on sims before he proposed with one, and that you would be perfectly happy with a smaller diamond and that a small diamond would actually NOT cost $30k. I’m really not trying to sound mean at all, but it sounds like he didn’t do any research. He could have walked into any mall jewelry store, just browsed and seen some pretty rings that were affordable. And what’s worse is that he keeps going on about how proud he is of your ring, making you feel even worse about it. Ok, just re-read what I wrote and I totally do not mean to be bashing on your fiancé, I’m just really upset that he didn’t talk to you about alternatives before proposing. I hope you all work things out, he sounds really sweet but you deserve to be happy and proud of your ring too. (By the way, I really want a moissanite ring and I know I sound like I’m against sims but I’m not, just against sims being given as an e-ring without talking about it first)

    Post # 48
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t really have an opinion on this, except that the people who would give you a hard time about your rings are mighty, mighty jerkfaces. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    If you’re not happy then I think you should very gently bring it up with him- after all you’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of your life so you should be 100% happy with it. It doesn’t make you a bad person at all! Explain that you love his choice but had your heart set on a diamond. Show him some research you’ve done on prices and if you can both afford it, ask if he minds upgrading. Plenty of people upgrade after all! Perhaps you could buy a loose stone and replace your current stone.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. And all the people who are rude enough to ask such questions about your ring and imply that anything less than a diamond means he somehow isn’t worthy of you- should go suck it!!! People have such a nerve.

    Post # 50
    Member
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You should be happy that he got it! Cause he gave it to you, and it’s from him. Whether it’s a diamond or not!

    And maybe one day you can upgrade to a diamond?

    Post # 51
    Member
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

    This is definitely a sticky situation! I would’ve been REALLY upset if I were in your shoes, for sure…

    I was kinda in your shoes bc I wasn’t very happy with my ring when I got engaged but I made the mistake of waiting almost a year before saying anything.  It wasn’t pretty when I finally did approach the subject and as it is, I haven’t made any changes to my ring bc of how upset FH/DH gets the few times I’ve mentioned it…

    I think he absolutely should have made sure you were cool with an Asha before getting it for you…I will say tho, when I first read your post, I thought an Asha was just a different type of diamond, so you could always go that route, like a PP suggested, just say it’s an Asha diamond (which is it) and leave it at that…

    Also, another option is to just wear your wedding band (which could be real diamond and maybe extra blingy since you didn’t get your diamond for the e-ring) once you’re married…

    I’m sorry you’re so distraught about the whole situation, you’re a much nicer, kinder fiancee than I would have been and I think you’re being very classy and sensible about everything!

    Post # 52
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I voted for tell him now gently..although no matter how gently you tell him, his feelings are probably going to get hurt! I’m going to agree with a lot of the bees about guys not really knowing anything about jewelry though- for a lot of them engagement rings are the first piece they’ve ever bought- so who knows what they’re thinking when they pick out a ring! Oh yeah, and I wanted to mention..he may be under the impression that Asha is a type of diamond or something, due to the name “Asha Diamond”..I just don’t know!Best of luck when you tell him, and update us on how it goes..we’re here to support you no matter what! 🙂

    Post # 53
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I actually had a similar situation. I liked the ring, but at the same time I really didnt like it. I felt the quality of the diamonds were not that great even though they were so small, and I didnt like that the pattern didnt continue all the way around. I told him, and he was heartbroken, but glad that I was honest and not keeping something from him. We talked about maybe changing it, but I ended up falling in love with it. I cant imagine not having this ring, even with all of its flaws, I love it so much and its different and for you, it will be special in your own way between the two of you. If youre embarassed to tell others, just pass it off as a cute little querk of his: He’s such a geek that the thought of this being made in a lab was just so much more cool then any diamond would ever be. Its not denying that its not real, but its being proud of it while giving others an insight that may make them like it more too!

    http://www.signaturejewelersegf.com/CategoryPages/ItemDetails.aspx?MenuId=1&item_id=905&ITotal=18&pcId=17&catId=%20&iType=J#

    Post # 54
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    You’re not a b.  Your guy should have poked around or flat out asked you your preferences, ESPECIALLY if he was considering something that is non-traditional.

     

    So I voted for “not a b” and “you should ask him gently.”  It’s something you’re wearing for the rest of your life, you should have SOME input into what it is.

    Post # 55
    Member
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I agree with PPs, the Rudey McRudersons who got nosy about the “authenticity” of your stone deserved to be lied to. Where do people get off being that snobby?

    Post # 56
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I had a similar dilemma. My husband got me the e-ring of my dreams. We searched together -endlessly- for the perfect wedding band to go with it. We decided together that I’d get two bands to go on each side of my wedding band. I loved them at first and a LONG story later I realized that they weren’t what I really wanted and I finally had to talk to him about getting a different band. He was only disappointed by the fact that we didn’t get the right forever ring the first time. Ultimately, he wanted me to get the right ring to wear forever. Or meet in the middle and upgrade on an anniversary?

    The people who asked if your ring was fake because they assume he couldn’t afford a ring that size – OMG the nerve! 

    The topic ‘I feel like a total witch-with-a-b……. :(’ is closed to new replies.

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