Post # 1
We’ve been together almost 6 years! We’re only young (23 and 24) and I’ve always had a higher sex drive so nothing changed per say.
I mostly initiate sex. When we try and do anything different during, he can’t keep an erection and blames anxiety, which I don’t blame him for but it’s really affecting me now. At first I was understanding but now I get really pissed off with him which I hate.
He hardly kisses me too unless I initiate that and when I make an effort to be sexy I feel like he doesn’t notice.
I feel really unattractive and he’s not doing anything to make me feel better. I feel like considering he has trouble with inter course, he could make more of an effort with kissing and stuff but he doesn’t. It’s the same cycle every time too. We argue over him not being affectionate then he says he’ll try harder. He’s more affectionate for about a week? Then stops. So we argue again 🙁
I’m really at a loss. I don’t know what to do 🙁
Post # 3
You say he has anxiety. He should see a doctor. Depression/anxiety can cause intimacy issues. While I understand why you are upset, if it is a health issue, there is really nothing he can do that will help the situation until he sees a doctor.
Post # 4
Don’t blame yourself sweetie, and don’t blame your guy…it gets complicated between the sheets and if a man feels like he can’t get er done…well, his self esteem and confidence are blown.
Anxiety in all of it’s forms is a crippling thing, if its performance anxiety, well….he’s most lilkely at he place where he feels like he can’t do it, so why try? You getting angry makes it worse, and more than likely, he abstains from any physical contact because he doesn’t want to tease you AND it might get him worked up for something he’s not sure he can do.
I recommend therapy first, but if you guys can’t afford that….it’s time to take the anger out of the situation, neither of you likes this, but it’s pretty clear that what you are doing now doesn’t work, right? So calm down, stop fighting over it and set yourselves up to succeed.
Also, take a look at what you are doing, in and out of the bedroom, you may be, intended or not, a part of what’s bothering him and he might be to worried to verbalize that.
It’s funny that as intimate as we are with our guys, they still want to hide certain things. It will work out, but you both have to work on it, him trying more and you accepting what he gives.