Post # 1
I write this to you all at 3:30 in the morning because I simply can’t seem to sleep…here’s a little backstory on my SO and I…we’ve been together for 2 years now, living together for 1 and a half…he has always been the “bread winner” since I am still finishing school to get my Bachelor’s in Education and teaching credentials, so most of the bills are taken care of by him…well, because I am still in school, it has been practically IMPOSSIBLE for me to find a full time job, simply because most of them want someone with a degree, which I do not have yet.
Therefore, things become even tougher…SO is a truck driver and has been doing so our entire relationship, but before we moved into an apartment together, he usually got three days off a week, still making a reasonable amount of money. Well, with the added bills and such, he switched jobs and now works 6 days a week, since I am still having trouble finding a fulltime job. He works nights from 3pm to about 5 in the morning, sleeps until 12 noon, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and does the routine all over again…needless to say, we only see each other about 30 hours a week, if that much.
I feel like it’s taking it’s toll on me and I’m not sure what to do anymore…I love him so much and we talk about marriage all the time. Hell, he even has the ring already, he’s just waiting for the perfect time! The problem is, I don’t know if I want to live my life like this. It’s hard because he is so incredible and is taking care of both of us right now and I feel guilty as HELL for being upset over this when I feel like it’s partly my fault. But I just know that if I want to marry a man and raise children with him, I want him to be there….I just am not sure what to do anymore and feel like we’re roommates rather than a couple…I’m not necessarily looking for advice, just wanted to vent about it…
Thanks for reading 🙂
Post # 3
My fiance has his own business and he works seven days a week (he has one day off a week, but eh does his business paperwork that day, so it is seven days, in effect.) I see him for three nights a week, he gets in at 5, we go to bed at 10 and he leaves again at 8 the next morning. He does take occasional days off but the most amount of time I have spent with him is a four day holiday. And even then he took care of business matters on the phone a couple of times.
I do wish I could have evenings and weekends with him. But right now is trying to make money for our future, and he is doing what he loves to do. I don’t want to pressure him or guilt him out for working so hard, because I know the onway we can have a future right now (I am job hunting too) is if we both work hard for a few years.
Treasure the time you have with your SO, accept that this isn’t forever, and ask him at a neutral time if he can book some time off in the near future so you guys can grab a couple of days, just to keep you going.
When it comes to love, it’s an accept or reject thing. If you want a SO with lots of time to give you, your SO may not be the man.
Post # 4
Oh, I can see how that is frustrating. I am in a slightly similar situation. Darling Husband has an extremely busy law practice, I am a very busy teacher working long hours in my classroom, and we are also caring for his elderly mother next door. By the time Darling Husband and I get settled in from our duties, it’s 9 p.m. or so. Which means we have perhaps two hours of quality time per day on weekdays. Darling Husband also is a property manager and on weekends that keeps him busy….
I think this is what doctors’ wives go through! I wish we had more time together but he is so special and I love him so much with all of my heart that I am grateful for and cherish the time we do have together.
OP, keep plugging away and remember this too shall pass. This is not a permanent lifestyle for you. Once you get up and running with your career, your SO can ease back at work and you will have more time together. In my case, Darling Husband is at a point where he is going to start slowing down his work pace as we both approach early retirement…. I can’t wait to spend more time with my sweetie!
Post # 5
Thank you both for the kind words and letting me know that I’m not alone! I do love him very much and he’s stuck by me thru TERRIBLE things that happened in my life, which made me love and appreciate him even more. I think I just need to keep telling myself that this ISN’T a permanent thing and things will get better in a few years, I guess it’s just hard because I love him and want to see him and hardly do. This is the first REAL relationship I’ve been in and I want to make sure it lasts. Luckily, we planned a BIG 8 day trip for this August to spend together, just the 2 of us, so I will be happy when we get that time together!