(Closed) I feel like I'll never "get around" to having kids :/

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

My husband and I know a couple who are both medical doctors. They are in their mid-30’s and have 4 kids now. 🙂 She became pregnant with their first her last year of her residency.

Post # 33
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

@DaneLadyI think this is important. If you have your heart set on waiting until you are established in a career, the most important thing is to be healthy. Stay active, eat right and take your vitamins, you’ll be fine 🙂

Post # 34
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t have time to read all of the responses, but I’m in a postdoc right now and I think it would be a good time to get pregnant. Sure you’re doing a lot of research, but it’s flexible (no teaching or taking classes) and you can stay for 5 years. Our plan is probably baby #1 in my postdoc and then #2 once I’m established in a job. For me, graduate school would have been a horrible time to get pregnant! I was sooooo busy and doing lab work that was time sensitive, it definitely would have taken me more than 5 years to finish if I had gotten pregnant. Some PhD programs are not experimental and you can work from home or just write whenever you want, so that may be a different situation.

Post # 35
Member
4149 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureDrAtkins:  Just my two cents – my husband and I started trying to have a baby at the end of my 3rd year of my PhD program, thinking we would have the baby the following summer in between the end of my PhD program and the start of my first job (like you, it’s focused on publications to earn tenure).  Welp, here we are a year later still trying.  So, you can plan all you want, but I’d say start trying to have a baby when you want to have a baby.  I know so many women who have babies in their PhD programs or shortly thereafter while trying to get tenure (my best friend had 2 while in our program!), and they’ve all survived and kept their career intact.  Good luck!

Post # 36
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@canadablue:  yep, that’s my experience was well. Either after first year of PhD but more common after comps are completed. Though they would get a year of mat leave, I’d estimate that almost none of my colleagues took more than one semester off (4 months). However, many didn’t TA/work for a full school year (taking a paycut), so their responsibilities were only focused on their own research and their baby.

Post # 38
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I got a PhD in Pharmacology and Experimental Neuroscience. Most of my friends (mostly the ladies anyhow) ended up incubating the kids in their last year while they were nearly done with experiments and were basically pushing out papers. Their maternity leave consisted of staying at home for 6 weeks while taking care of baby and finishing up writing their tesis. We did work with a bunch of stuff that was definitely not safe for baby.

Others did have a baby during their postdoc. The key is to identify which things are toxic to the baby/mom and plan on having someone help you. perks of being a senior student/postdoc. The one thing that pushed the graduate student to have their kids while still in grad achool was the insurance, which covered everything. I think out of pocket no one spent more than $1k in medical bills related to pregnancy and labor. Again, one of the benefits of working in an Academic Health Center research setting.

I just got married and am 15 w pregnant and in my seocnd year of Postdoc. It’s basically a now or never. I also decided to opt out of bench work and get a postdoc in a non-traditional career path so I sit in an office. My insurance will cover most of the pregnancy and delivery so I’m not too worried. As a postdoc I do get 30 days maternity leave… but that’s it.

I would suggest talking to your PI/advisor and understanding maternity policies, which tend to suck for grad students and postdocs. as long as your advisor is on board you might get 6 weeks paid maternity leave if you keep up with writing and maybe even 2 extra weeks of unpaid leave.

 

Good luck!

Post # 39
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

@FutureDrAtkins:  I’m younger than you but I’m finishing up my undergrad currently and going straight to grad school. I personally thought that it was easier for us to have children while I was in school. I’m not working now anyway since I take so many classes and it has worke out well for us. I liked the idea of having my kids while I’m in school so I could have that time to stay home with them while they are little, that way once I enter into te workforce ill be there to stay. I didn’t want to have kids and go to work full time 6 weeks later..

Post # 41
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

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@FutureDrAtkins:  I’m finishing my undergrad in psychology (I know lol) and starting a masters program for healthcare administration. 

that sucks that basically your entire life revolves around what happens to someone else..that’s so scary!!!! Maybe you could both work if you had a baby, and have a family member watch baby or go to daycare. We use a home daycare occasionally and full time care is only $400 a Month..

Post # 43
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

@FutureDrAtkins:  I would have them now while you are in grad school beause the amount of flexibility you have now would be hard to get once you start working.

Post # 45
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@FutureDrAtkins:  I’m in the same boat. I’m 26, soon to be 27 and Fiance is 29. We have a crapload of student loan debt. We don’t even want to think about having kids until our debt is paid off and we get a house. By that time I’ll probably be 32. We want at least 2-3 years of being debt free to go on more vacations and just enjoy life before babies come along. 

 

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