- 8 years ago
I have been keeping everything bottled up for a while now, haven’t even been talking about all of it here, but I need to open up somewhere before I burst into tears (and I’m not even sure if writing this will prevent that outcome). I am stressed so bad and I don’t know where to go from here to sort all of this stuff out.
I told you guys about my siblings and that whole situation. Okay, so that’s been on my mind since Saturday. Well, longer, really, but the severity of it/pressure from my mom has been on since Saturday.
I am broke. Literally, until November 8th. Fiance hasn’t worked in three weeks. Three whole weeks. Fiance works for Future Father-In-Law. Future Father-In-Law owns a construction company, and he has been working in federal buildings a lot lately. You have to have special clearance to enter these places. Fiance does not have the clearance, therefore cannot go to work in these buildings. Today, Future Brother-In-Law was supposed to go help Fiance on a little side job Future Father-In-Law lined up for them. It is not a one-man job, so Fiance couldn’t go alone. Well, whaddya know, Future Brother-In-Law never showed up. Future Brother-In-Law has no initiative to work, at all. The only employees that Future Father-In-Law has are Fiance and another guy who goes to the federal buildings with him. Future Brother-In-Law only works when he needs pot money, so he stands Fiance up everytime they’re supposed to be on these side jobs. Even if he does go with Fiance, he’ll end up leaving Fiance to try to handle everything alone.
So, yeah, we’re broke. But, the bills keep a’coming. I hate relying on Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law, but I sort of think they like it. I don’t think they want Fiance to move out (he does a lot for them that wouldn’t be done if he was gone). They refuse to do the paperwork stuff to get him clearance into these federal places (they have to do it, it’s not something he can do on his own). If Fiance quits on them, they’ll be mad because when a big non-federal job comes up, they’re going to need him. I know how they’ll act because it happened to FCIL and her Darling Husband. FCIL and her DH got sick of never being able to make ends meet because her Darling Husband didn’t have clearance to federal buildings/couldn’t work so he found another job and quit with Future Father-In-Law. Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law were and are still resentful.
We don’t have a home of our own to live in, obviously. This is one of my biggest stressors. Dealing with living with the FILs’ (FSIL, especially) is making me nutso. Yes, the saving money part is great, but I think I’d rather be sane and living on Ramen Noodles than in prison for murdering FSIL (totally just joking about the killing part, lol!) The sad part is, Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law are basically giving my other FSIL a house to live in. The part that pisses me the most off about that is the house Future Sister-In-Law currently lives in and the one she’s moving to are BOTH in my FI’s name! That’s a long story for another time, but yeah, technically they’re both FI’s houses.
Classes start next Monday. Like I said, I still don’t have my books. One of my classes sort of ties statistics into psychology. I suck at math. I mean, basic algebra was a major feat for me. Not too sure how much I’m going to love statistics, and I’m praying I even pass the course (it is a degree core class, I have to make a C or it doesn’t count!). Then, there is the proctor situation I mentioned in an earlier post. If I dont’ find a suitable proctor, I will fail my classes because I won’t be able to test.
Then, there’s the whole “W” word, which means more the “M” word is needed. Also, the “C” word is right around the corner. Yikes! I hope things start looking up really soon!