(Closed) I feel like I’m being a brat if I ask for more money….

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would not say anything to your parents, you are basically telling them that their gift is not good enough. They are not obligated to pay for any part of your wedding. If your sister went a cheaper route that was her decision, the same way it is your decision to have a more expensive wedding.

Post # 4
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would let it go. Your bigger, costlier wedding is your choice, just as your parents can choose to give you, your sister, or your brother anything or nothing. You’re not entitled to any money, and I don’t know that there is a nicer way to say “I need more money waah.”

Post # 5
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree, I wouldn’t say anything other than thank you for what they have given you! They are under no obligation to give you more money simply because you are chosing to spend more money on your wedding than your sister did. And how much your fiance’s family offers is completely irrelevant to your parents giving you money because each family has different financial situations. You even said yourself that they were budget crunching so for them to even offer to give you $500 seems very generous of them. We would all love to have our weddings completely paid for, but unfortunately it’s just not reality for most people and you should just thank them for what they have offered and be grateful for that.

Post # 6
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I think talking/asking about finances is one thing, demanding is something different and yes, bratty. 

It all depends how your family works and how their finances are too.  I think talking/asking if they’re not in the best financial place right now is bratty because it shows self-centeredness.  But if they are well off and just making an arbitrary line I don’t think it’s bratty just to ask for more help as long as it doesn’t come off as demanding and also you should be able to take ‘No’ if that’s their answer.

Post # 7
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would strongly advise against going to your parents and asking for more money.  They have given you an amount that they are able and that they are comfortable with.  I was lucky enough to have my parents help with the wedding but my husband and I were completely prepared to pay for the wedding ourselves if help had not been offered.  You are not entitled to their money and if you are mature enough to get married you need to not rely on your parents financially.  I don’t think it’s fair to compare what was given to you by your parents and your fiance’s parents.  They each get to decide on their own what to give.  You mention that you are already aware that your parents are having money problems, I don’t think you would want them to have give up something they really need to get by because you put them in an uncomfortable position where they felt that had to give more than they were able because you asked for it.  Sorry, I’m really not trying to be harsh, just give you my point of view.

Post # 9
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

While I see where you’re coming from I have to agree with the other bees. You really shouldn’t say anything. If you are having trouble paying for something you could mention that to your mom but you shouldn’t just come out and “I need more money for our wedding from you”.

Post # 10
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think maybe you can bring up the subject that FIL’s are giving you x amount of dollars, and this is how much you expect the whole wedding to cost, etc. 

Once they see that $500 is nothing in comparison to the overall budget maybe they will offer to help with something else.  They may just want things to be fair though so I wouldn’t ask for money.

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