- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I probably have done this to myself, but here goes my little pity party…
I don’t have a alot of friends. I am an intensely family focused person. I have one friend that I see often…and everyone else is family. one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man is a Bridesmaid or Best Man because she’s insecure and would have a shit fit if her husband was in the wedding and not her.
Anyway…I dont think that people are really treating me like a bride. I think they think my wedding is just a formality. I already live with FH. We have a two year old. I just don’t think that anyone really cares that much. The guy who is marrying us, who is also my psuedo wedding planner, keeps calling me fat in back handed ways. Yes, asshole, I have gained weight. I also have a thyroid that decided to crap out a year ago, on top of an existing endocrine condition. So please, don’t tell me how pretty I was when I was thinner. I know I was. But what about right now? aren’t I pretty now? Apparently not. Apparently, at a size 14/16, I might as well be godzilla. It’s so upsetting. I want the attention to be on me, in part. I want to be made to feel special. This is my time…but I guess I’m expecting too much. I don’t want so much gushing…I just want to be told that I look pretty. That they’re excited for me…..sigh. Oh well. It’s just my wedding. People forget my birthday all the time, so maybe this isn’t as big a deal as I thought it should be.